Thier is a lot of spelling mistakes but I hoope you like it.
Beep Beep I woke up to that sound I hit my sliver alarm clock. I got up. Made my bed and was ready to face my new day. I put on a purple top and black jeans and raced down to the kichen. I was the frist one their. My beautiful mom was making toast. MY mother had long brown hair that was very curly and she had a smile that would make you want to brush your teeth for the rest of your life. To get them as shiny as hers. Hey mom I said smiling.
Hello Scarlet she said and she went back to work.
My dad came from outside with the newspaper. He sat down and put hit feet up on the table. MY mom pointed a finger at his feet and the air around me became frezing. IN a flash of light my dads feet were off the table. Yup my mom was a wich. Mom smiled at me. Feet off the table dear. She said
Is this a magic fight my dad asked. Yup he was a wizard.
Nope my mom said. And she went back to the toast.She was abel to stop a evile wizard from takeing over the world but she could not work a toster.
I started to eat my eggs when my older brother Eli grabed my plate.
Eli I yelled.
He smiled his teeth blinding me. Well little sis I cant eat some off your eggs.
You don鈥檛 even eat normal food I yelled a him.
He laughed but dident give back my eggs. He went to the cupord and got out his bottel of icky blood. And chugged it down. You gussed it he was a vampire. He only drinks blood donationgs though. And the ocional animal. He never hurts anyone though. He a difrent kind of vampire. One that dosent crave human blood as much as normal ones. Mom says he a very rare form of vampire. One that is calm and does not like hurting people. I call him werid.
He finshed his drink and sat down next to dad. MY dads black hair was a contrast to Eli blone hair.
The air felt cold and I looked at my mom than my dad. Who was using magic? I hear footstephs and I saw my sister raven short for dezaray. Walk down the stephs she had 7 books floating around her head. Chatera I thought. She walked over got some burnt toast and walked away. Usally raven. MY mom stoped her work and looked tword the stairs daisy and hunter. She yelled in her montone voice. I heard thumping and saw my brother with his shaggei hair and sweater.He went to the fige grabed the lunch meat and sat down at the floor. Yeah and my were wolf brother. He changes when he wants to. And sliver does not hurt him.Yup
Daisy my mom called.
I saw my little sister pransed down the stair so beautiful that a trained barinea would cry. She stopped at frige and got out the slad. er back was slightly arched her shullder blades sticking out.
She had on pink pink pink even her blonde hair had highlights yeup pink.
Wing check my mom stopped what she was doing and walked over to daisy.
Her back semmed to shiny two lightly clored wing flowed out. And the stabled and turned yup pink.
MY little sister was a fairy.
OK so mom and dad wizard and wich.
MY brother a vampire
My other brother is a were wolf.
My older sister is a wich
And my sister is a fairy.
Oh and right now I am a human.
Just call us the adams family.
I was going to be a wich soon. You get you magic like when your ready for it. I gusse I not. And my last name is scripo. Scalet scrpo yup that鈥檚 my name. My mom and dad adopted me and eli and daisy and hunter. MY parents died don鈥檛 know how or when but the scriops adopted me. Eli ran away crazy bloodthirsty parents can do that to you. Daisy parent were turned into flowers by a wizard. And hunter got lost as a pup.
Mom and dad took us in. company for their only dauther Raven.
Kids car my mom said.
We all ran to the minvi van.
I got shot gun eli cried.
MY mom and dad. Both had odd jobs with dragns or something but on carie day their denits.
It werid beng the oddball in the family. Scared that you brother will eat you. And your sisters will turn you into a toad.
W all pilled into the car. My mom in the front, she hit the peatal to the metal and she droped us at school without a word. We all jumped out of the car. I looked at school yeah stupid school. Where no one talked to me and I was on the botem of the food chane. All the sudden it got really hot and a taller less petiy Daisy got out of the car. She used a groth spell because she looked like a 2 year old without it yeah a two year old in 5h grade not good. I walked to English. I was in 7th Raven in 10th Eli in 9th and hunter in 8th. I sat down next to Katie in my desk. She smiled at me but nothing more. I don鈥檛 have any friends. Well I use to but they arent anymore. Moring classies went quick. And lunch came qround 12:00. I went to sit with Daisy and raven and hunter and Eli at out table. Raven hacked into the school system to make sure we all had the same lunch.
They all were sitting at the table when I got their.
Daisy looked at me swittie we all just decid that were gonna sit with our friends
Yeah raven agreed.
What I said we always sit toghIS this story good so far?
It's rubbishIS this story good so far?
Sounds interesting, still could use some work though. Edit that scene, fix spelling, etc. Then move on with it.
:)
it was...um....ok/good....and your right many spelling mistakes
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
How is this short story i wrote?
It was then, and only then, when my rather blank mind rebooted, and switched itself back in reality. It missed all the rest, all that it was supposedly supposed to stop from coming true. But that's how my brain works, it shuts off my eyes, so I don't notice what im doing until I feel ALL of the pain. Then my eyes become clear. My eyes can now see what my mind was making my hands do. Only one drop on red blood showed me what kind of monster I have become. And my weary eyes just watched! My brain now held my mouth closed from screams, and my legs planted....so no help could rise. I just watch it drip. Slide from my shoulder, all the way to my cold finger tip. And slowly, ever so slowly, drip. Form a puddle of blood. Dizziness filled my aching head. It spun, my world spun. Did everyone else's world spin as fast as mine? Or was it just me.... it was the devils saint, guiding me farther and farther from life. And when the light clicked on and gleamed my luring eyes, i was 100% sure that i was dead. Until everything became clear...I was in the hospital. My mom was looking down at me.
';How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to your own family? You are a descrase.';
My mom said in a angry yet terrified.
';No mom, how could my head do this to me.';
Then the beep stirred crossed room, and it hummed. As my eyes close. It assured everyone...
That the 'discrace' was gone.
is this okay for 13?
And sorry for any spelling mistakes, Im not so good with spelling.How is this short story i wrote?
This story is graphic, but well planned. I'm surprised to see that a 13 year old has such a grasp on suicide. There is a feminine quality about the work. Your ideas were formed quite nicely, though I'd try to break up the paragraphs a little. Start the new paragraphs with strong sentences. For instance, you can grab your audience by breaking the sentences ';I was in the hospital. -paragraph/indent- My mother's eyes cried in horror as she came to accept what I had done.';
I have a few opinions that I might give an author if I was editing her book:
Try not to start off with pronouns. Instead of ';supposedly supposed to stop,'; try ';expected,'; or a more common word. The sentence with ';one drop of blood'; was well written. You're painting a picture in your reader's mind with detail like that. It was neither too much nor too little. An ellipsis... has only 3 ';dots.'; The ';slide from my shoulder'; sentence is incomplete. Try to re-write the idea because it seems important to the story, and it shouldn't be deleted.
There are a few other run-on sentences and misspellings. Try to get rid of them to make the story easier to read. Break up the story into paragraphs, like after the sentence beginning with ';Dizziness.'; Indent again with the sentence beginning in ';My mom was looking.';
I like how you broke up the paragraphs when the character's mother began speaking. Try using the word ';disgrace.';
It was short, but nice, especially for a thirteen year-old.How is this short story i wrote?
Good writing. A very serious topic.
Help me?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Better than I would expect from a 13 year old. Very good job! Keep up the good work!!!!
Woah...really...emo.
It's okay, I'll give it that much but nothing more...
That was very good writing.
I noticed a typo where you wrote descrase and discrase... the spelling is disgrace (dis- like 'out of' -grace) but don't worry about that. That is what spelling checkers are for. %26lt;grins%26gt; I use the one in MS Word all the time.
The other place that jumps out at me is where you wrote, 'supposedly supposed to...';. Since that's two words from the same root word, it looks a little redundant (repetitive). There are other words you could use to replace supposedly. One of them might feel right to you: evidently, it seems, it appears, purportedly, they say it is, apparently... (and other ways of saying it.)
I think the storyline is good. --ups and down to hold the reader's interest.
First, the reader thinks the main character hurt himself, and then the shock that he is killing himself, then the relief that he woke up in the hospital, and the final realization that he has died anyway.
I don't care for stories with a dark ending, but you have written it well.
Keep up the good work.
Reminds me of Steven King's work back in high school.
Who knows? --You may be the next Steven King...! (or if you happen to be female, maybe it's Stephanie King...%26lt;g%26gt;)
I am a writer, too, but he's rich and I'm not... Maybe I should have written stories more like yours...
Anyway, good luck on your future writing.
*Revision*
It was then and only then when my rather blank mind rebooted, and switched itself back in reality. It missed all the rest, all that it was supposedly supposed to stop from coming true. But that's how my brain works, it shuts off my eyes, so I don't notice what I'm doing until I feel ALL of the pain. Then my eyes become clear. My eyes can now see what my mind was making my hands do. Only one drop of red blood showed me what kind of monster I have become. And my weary eyes just watched! My brain now held my mouth closed from screams, and my legs planted....so no help could rise. I just watch it drip. Slide from my shoulder, all the way to my cold finger tip. And slowly, ever so slowly, drip. A pool of blood formed. Dizziness filled my aching head. It spun, my world spun. Did everyones' world spin as fast as mine? Or was it just me.... it was the devil's saint, guiding me farther and farther from life. And when the light clicked on and gleamed my luring eyes, I was 100% sure that i was dead. Until everything became clear...I was in the hospital. My mom was looking down at me.
';How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to your own family? You are a disgrace.';
My mom said in a angry yet terrified tone.
';No mom, how could my head do this to me.';
Then the beep stirred and crossed room, and it hummed. As my eyes close. It assured everyone...
That the 'disgrace' was gone.
*END REVISION*
I didn't fix everything because I want this story to retain it's original intention.
This story shows promise. It is enlightening how easily a person can become so destructive to their own body. However promising this story may be, it is hard to concentrate through the misspellings and grammar errors. I suggest using Word to spell-check your errors and reading the story aloud and slowly to yourself before you submit anything. If you plan on using this for a contest or for a class have someone else proofread it for you (like a teacher, classmate, parent, etc).
When I was thirteen I wrote stories, not unlike this one. I still continue to this day to write stories. I remember when my grammar and spelling was so horrendous that I though I wouldn't pass 5th grade English. Now I'm in college and an English major. Life is ironic and often comes full circle. Continue writing about anything and everything--often the best works come from personal experiences.php hosting windows xp
';How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to your own family? You are a descrase.';
My mom said in a angry yet terrified.
';No mom, how could my head do this to me.';
Then the beep stirred crossed room, and it hummed. As my eyes close. It assured everyone...
That the 'discrace' was gone.
is this okay for 13?
And sorry for any spelling mistakes, Im not so good with spelling.How is this short story i wrote?
This story is graphic, but well planned. I'm surprised to see that a 13 year old has such a grasp on suicide. There is a feminine quality about the work. Your ideas were formed quite nicely, though I'd try to break up the paragraphs a little. Start the new paragraphs with strong sentences. For instance, you can grab your audience by breaking the sentences ';I was in the hospital. -paragraph/indent- My mother's eyes cried in horror as she came to accept what I had done.';
I have a few opinions that I might give an author if I was editing her book:
Try not to start off with pronouns. Instead of ';supposedly supposed to stop,'; try ';expected,'; or a more common word. The sentence with ';one drop of blood'; was well written. You're painting a picture in your reader's mind with detail like that. It was neither too much nor too little. An ellipsis... has only 3 ';dots.'; The ';slide from my shoulder'; sentence is incomplete. Try to re-write the idea because it seems important to the story, and it shouldn't be deleted.
There are a few other run-on sentences and misspellings. Try to get rid of them to make the story easier to read. Break up the story into paragraphs, like after the sentence beginning with ';Dizziness.'; Indent again with the sentence beginning in ';My mom was looking.';
I like how you broke up the paragraphs when the character's mother began speaking. Try using the word ';disgrace.';
It was short, but nice, especially for a thirteen year-old.How is this short story i wrote?
Good writing. A very serious topic.
Help me?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Better than I would expect from a 13 year old. Very good job! Keep up the good work!!!!
Woah...really...emo.
It's okay, I'll give it that much but nothing more...
That was very good writing.
I noticed a typo where you wrote descrase and discrase... the spelling is disgrace (dis- like 'out of' -grace) but don't worry about that. That is what spelling checkers are for. %26lt;grins%26gt; I use the one in MS Word all the time.
The other place that jumps out at me is where you wrote, 'supposedly supposed to...';. Since that's two words from the same root word, it looks a little redundant (repetitive). There are other words you could use to replace supposedly. One of them might feel right to you: evidently, it seems, it appears, purportedly, they say it is, apparently... (and other ways of saying it.)
I think the storyline is good. --ups and down to hold the reader's interest.
First, the reader thinks the main character hurt himself, and then the shock that he is killing himself, then the relief that he woke up in the hospital, and the final realization that he has died anyway.
I don't care for stories with a dark ending, but you have written it well.
Keep up the good work.
Reminds me of Steven King's work back in high school.
Who knows? --You may be the next Steven King...! (or if you happen to be female, maybe it's Stephanie King...%26lt;g%26gt;)
I am a writer, too, but he's rich and I'm not... Maybe I should have written stories more like yours...
Anyway, good luck on your future writing.
*Revision*
It was then and only then when my rather blank mind rebooted, and switched itself back in reality. It missed all the rest, all that it was supposedly supposed to stop from coming true. But that's how my brain works, it shuts off my eyes, so I don't notice what I'm doing until I feel ALL of the pain. Then my eyes become clear. My eyes can now see what my mind was making my hands do. Only one drop of red blood showed me what kind of monster I have become. And my weary eyes just watched! My brain now held my mouth closed from screams, and my legs planted....so no help could rise. I just watch it drip. Slide from my shoulder, all the way to my cold finger tip. And slowly, ever so slowly, drip. A pool of blood formed. Dizziness filled my aching head. It spun, my world spun. Did everyones' world spin as fast as mine? Or was it just me.... it was the devil's saint, guiding me farther and farther from life. And when the light clicked on and gleamed my luring eyes, I was 100% sure that i was dead. Until everything became clear...I was in the hospital. My mom was looking down at me.
';How could you do this to yourself? How could you do this to your own family? You are a disgrace.';
My mom said in a angry yet terrified tone.
';No mom, how could my head do this to me.';
Then the beep stirred and crossed room, and it hummed. As my eyes close. It assured everyone...
That the 'disgrace' was gone.
*END REVISION*
I didn't fix everything because I want this story to retain it's original intention.
This story shows promise. It is enlightening how easily a person can become so destructive to their own body. However promising this story may be, it is hard to concentrate through the misspellings and grammar errors. I suggest using Word to spell-check your errors and reading the story aloud and slowly to yourself before you submit anything. If you plan on using this for a contest or for a class have someone else proofread it for you (like a teacher, classmate, parent, etc).
When I was thirteen I wrote stories, not unlike this one. I still continue to this day to write stories. I remember when my grammar and spelling was so horrendous that I though I wouldn't pass 5th grade English. Now I'm in college and an English major. Life is ironic and often comes full circle. Continue writing about anything and everything--often the best works come from personal experiences.
Am I a vampire ? is my name the reason?
Well I'm starting to think I am a Vampire. Yes I do read Twilight but after reading some of the book I started to wonder, And then thought about some stuff like how I act around people. It all started last year in 4th grade we were going to be doing this project on blood and the teacher ( mrs.Franklin) she had accidentally cut her finger like a paper cut I started to go crazy ! and my friend had asked me are you okay I said no. she had noticed some thing wrong with the way I had looked she said your eyes are a different color and my hands were tight around my chair, So I finally just raised my hand and had asked with a jump Mrs. Franklin may I go to the nurses office she said yes you may. So I jumped out of my seat and kinda fast walked out of the class room it was like I just had to bite her allot so by the way my name is Raven M.Garrett my middle name is not necessary. But then the next day at recess had the most unusual faster speed and sense of smell I could smell Ashlin bedding Fields jacket all the way across the play ground. And I have been wanting to Bite and suck alot of ppls blood lately ever sense that day in Mrs Franklins class so I really need help and when you answer don't say get off drugs because I am only in the 5th grade ! so don't say that ! so be honest not hateful ! if u can't say some thing reasonable then say Nothing ~ ! Thanks for answering ! Raven. P.s. Is it really possible to become a vampire or just be born one ? and are spells magic and potions real ? plz help. 8)Am I a vampire ? is my name the reason?
i believe u but there is a simple way to test go to one of those blood banks and see if u freak out if u do and accept itAm I a vampire ? is my name the reason?
why yes you are. and by the way i think you should totally do this butt... jump off a very high building in new york city and tell me if u start flying or you survive from the impact :D
ok everyone who answered no is wrong. my best friend is a vampire. i've seen her killing people. not only that. i'm a psychic wiccan. so, by your description, yes you are a vampire. it is possible by spell, potion or birth. and yes, spells and magic potions are real i do them all the time.
No, but you sound like a real moron.
You must be a 13 year old, naive girl.
Everyone asks, ';why don't you people like Twilight???';
Have you taken notice to what it's done to the feeble minded?
NO STUPID. NO NO NO NO NO. YOUR NOT VAMPIRE. AND I BET YOU MADE IT UP. HEY HOLLYWOOD IF YOUR READING THIS STOP MAKING TWILIGHT MOVIES. YOUR MAKING KIDS STUPID. AND MAKING THEM WANT TO BE VAMPIRES!
Your just reading too much Twilight, vampires are not real, and just because Twilight says that's how vampires act doesn't mean it's true..although they don't exist
the only vampire that was ever born a vampire was draculas only son and dracula himself came back from the dead as one. now the only way to become a vampire is to be bitten by one
I would call you an idiot but seeing as you're young it's quite reasonable to be naive and get drawn towards these things.
You're not a vampire and never will be
it could b yes hey dont let these morons get u down they dont noe how hard it is for u to b dealing wit that so yes there might b a possibilyty
ok, you really need to edit your question and take your last name out. do you really want all the weirdos here being able to find your address and phone number?
Vampires don't exist. Stop pretending. And stop reading Twilight it will rot your brain.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to my blocked list!
No more twilight for you!
no on all of the questons
wow u read too much...and last yr in 4th grade....try growing up before u ask such a stupid questions.....u can be born a succubi or inccubi but vampires aint real...and yes spells and magik is real...but u have alot of growing up to do before any of that...
and just so u now succubi and inccubi dont drink blood...they feed on energy...and dracula was not realy a vampire they called him that for what he did...
you read Twilight you're just paranoid. After I read a really good book it's creepy when things seem similar to the book. I'm not trying to be rude or mean just honest. It's all in your head. When a person thinks about something long enough they think they can see it. It's been proven. Researchers put a video in front of a group of people. the video was just a painting of a girl. Her eyes were blue. They told them that sometime in the video her eyes go green. At the end everybody agreed that they changed to green. Then they were told the eyes never change. They believed and then their minds played tricks. It's all in the head and it's no big deal.
If you are in 5th grade, you are too young for Yahoo Answers (read Community Guidelines). No, you are not a vampire. Your name is truly irrelevant as to whether you are vampiric or not. Sense of smell and physical strength or speed are also irrelevant. Those things are fictional stereotype only. Your obvious interest for vampire lore and the onset of puberty have far more to do with what you are feeling. Spells and potions do not ';turn you into'; a vampire. Nothing does. If you were born a vampire, you would know it, and not through the signs you mention.
Yes it coluld be possible... but not all true... You could be or could not..Twilight is a stupid book and movie and I hate how it displays us vampires.... Vampires are real!! So all of you people need to do you're homework more!!! Before you give stupid answers... I am one and you can email me at Riley_is_amazing@yahoo.com
i believe u but there is a simple way to test go to one of those blood banks and see if u freak out if u do and accept itAm I a vampire ? is my name the reason?
why yes you are. and by the way i think you should totally do this butt... jump off a very high building in new york city and tell me if u start flying or you survive from the impact :D
Report Abuse
ok everyone who answered no is wrong. my best friend is a vampire. i've seen her killing people. not only that. i'm a psychic wiccan. so, by your description, yes you are a vampire. it is possible by spell, potion or birth. and yes, spells and magic potions are real i do them all the time.
No, but you sound like a real moron.
You must be a 13 year old, naive girl.
Everyone asks, ';why don't you people like Twilight???';
Have you taken notice to what it's done to the feeble minded?
NO STUPID. NO NO NO NO NO. YOUR NOT VAMPIRE. AND I BET YOU MADE IT UP. HEY HOLLYWOOD IF YOUR READING THIS STOP MAKING TWILIGHT MOVIES. YOUR MAKING KIDS STUPID. AND MAKING THEM WANT TO BE VAMPIRES!
Your just reading too much Twilight, vampires are not real, and just because Twilight says that's how vampires act doesn't mean it's true..although they don't exist
the only vampire that was ever born a vampire was draculas only son and dracula himself came back from the dead as one. now the only way to become a vampire is to be bitten by one
I would call you an idiot but seeing as you're young it's quite reasonable to be naive and get drawn towards these things.
You're not a vampire and never will be
it could b yes hey dont let these morons get u down they dont noe how hard it is for u to b dealing wit that so yes there might b a possibilyty
ok, you really need to edit your question and take your last name out. do you really want all the weirdos here being able to find your address and phone number?
Vampires don't exist. Stop pretending. And stop reading Twilight it will rot your brain.
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to my blocked list!
No more twilight for you!
no on all of the questons
wow u read too much...and last yr in 4th grade....try growing up before u ask such a stupid questions.....u can be born a succubi or inccubi but vampires aint real...and yes spells and magik is real...but u have alot of growing up to do before any of that...
and just so u now succubi and inccubi dont drink blood...they feed on energy...and dracula was not realy a vampire they called him that for what he did...
you read Twilight you're just paranoid. After I read a really good book it's creepy when things seem similar to the book. I'm not trying to be rude or mean just honest. It's all in your head. When a person thinks about something long enough they think they can see it. It's been proven. Researchers put a video in front of a group of people. the video was just a painting of a girl. Her eyes were blue. They told them that sometime in the video her eyes go green. At the end everybody agreed that they changed to green. Then they were told the eyes never change. They believed and then their minds played tricks. It's all in the head and it's no big deal.
If you are in 5th grade, you are too young for Yahoo Answers (read Community Guidelines). No, you are not a vampire. Your name is truly irrelevant as to whether you are vampiric or not. Sense of smell and physical strength or speed are also irrelevant. Those things are fictional stereotype only. Your obvious interest for vampire lore and the onset of puberty have far more to do with what you are feeling. Spells and potions do not ';turn you into'; a vampire. Nothing does. If you were born a vampire, you would know it, and not through the signs you mention.
Yes it coluld be possible... but not all true... You could be or could not..Twilight is a stupid book and movie and I hate how it displays us vampires.... Vampires are real!! So all of you people need to do you're homework more!!! Before you give stupid answers... I am one and you can email me at Riley_is_amazing@yahoo.com
Vampires..what do you think?
You might be a vampire if...
* You have a strong desire for and/or Stimulation by blood (sexual, revitalizing or otherwise)
* You have a nameless craving that can never quite be fulfilled
* People you get close to tend to become tired, weary and upset a lot around you
* People tend to find you interesting at first, then begin to avoid you
* Even when surrounded by others, you always feel alone
* Sunlight/bright light in general hurts your eyes (but you can go out in it, even so)
* You tend to be a night person by nature (because you may feel more comfortable and ';alive'; at this time)
* You have had a strong interest in vampires(in any aspect of the genre) probably since puberty onwards
* You have had a strong interest in vampires since a traumatic event occured in your life
* You don't get sick often, or if you do, the maladies are often strange or severe
* You are a fast healer
* Sex tends to leave you feeling revitalized and full of energy
* You have drank blood before or would like to, if you could
* You enjoy imbibing sexual fluids because of the vitality they contain
* Electrical appliances and you don't generally tend to get along well (watches stop often, computers malfunction for no reason, microwaves start up by themselves, etc)
* You prefer rich fabrics, tastes, scents etc.
* You are very sensitive to sensory extremes (strong scents, rough textures, sour tastes,etc)
* You feel totally different on some elemental,intuitive level to most other human beings
* You feel you don't belong in this century, maybe even this world
* You believe in reincarnation and maybe even have had past life visions
* Your dreams are often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of deja vu
* You easily ';trance out'; or find yourself detached from the world
* You posess an ability similar to ESP (or are highly intuitive in general)
* People often find you very empathetic to how they feel
* People often either trust you completely or think you are very dangerous.
* Your style of clothing tends to be more on the dramatic side
* Your relationships tend to be very rocky and emotionally unstable
* Your relationships tend to be very intense and passionate
* People tell you that you are too intense/an ';enigma';/';dark hole';/add similar phrase here
* You look younger than you are (when you're beyond twenty years of age) or look older than you are (when you are younger than 20 yrs of age)
* You can see and/or read auras
* Animals tend to get along well with you
* You have good, natural ';magickal'; abilities (if you do spells, etc, usually they work)
* You have only one or two friends/lovers who really understand you and whom you get along with
* When you will things to happen, they usually do
* You can often easily tell how other people are feeling
* You feel sick/get rashes/etc in the daytime when the sun is shining
* (you're a woman) Your period starts late in the day and your cycle is usually timed to the full moon
* You suffer from allergies
Important Note: Many visitors to VAU tell me that they have most of or all of these symptoms and does this mean they are definately a vampire? The answer is, not necessarily. Having all of these traits does not necessarily mean you are vampiric, nor does having none of these traits mean you are not necessarily vampiric. Therefore, let the following be your primary indicator of vampirism above all else: a real vampire, whether psychic or blood oriented, will have a craving. The vampire will either know what he/she craves, or will have a nameless craving they can't quite put their finger on, but nevertheless it is there. If you don't have a craving, you are not a vampire.
Common Misconceptions and their realities
* Misconception: Vampires are seductive, powerful, hypnotic creatures
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, although generally tend to have more intense, charismatic personalities.
* Misconception: Vampires don't need jobs
* Reality: Vampires need to earn a living just like everyone else. They hold all types of jobs from the mundane to the exciting, just like everybody else also.
* Misconception: Vampires are physically immortal and/or undead
* Reality: Vampires are physically mortal, with immortal souls. Vampires live normal lifespans and normal lives and have never, at any point in their physical life, died and risen from the grave.
* Misconception: Vampires are repelled by garlic/crosses/roses/etc
* Reality: Vampires can eat anything, are of all religions and the only time they might be repelled by a rose is if the thorn happens to prick them :)
* Misconception: Vampires drink only blood
* Reality: Vampires come in two types: The blood drinking type (sanguivores) and the energy absorbing type (psy-vamps). They, just like any other human, cannot survive without a regular diet of food and drink as well.
* Misconception: Vampires are evil and know what they are doing is evil and wrong
* Reality: Evil is a relative term, and there is no being on earth who can state with any validation what is good and what is evil. There are a great many evil humans out there too, anyway. Furthermore, not all vampires even know they are vampires...let alone contemplating whether their vampirism makes them good or bad.
* Misconception: Vampires can't go out in sunlight
* Reality: Vampires can go out in sunlight, it just generally tends to hurt their eyes and/or give them heat rashes/headaches or illness (to varied degrees)
* Misconception: The only way a vampire can be killed is through sunlight/staking/add other fictional vampire-killing method here
* Reality: Vampires can die of anything from bullets to AIDS to even a stake through the heart...just like any other human being. Sunlight; however, will not kill a vampire...this is a fictional device.
* Misconception: Vampires sleep in coffins/wear capes/have fangs/ are extremely pale/cast no reflection/etc
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, as I've said. Many look, dress and live quite normally. None are borne with fangs (tho anyone and everyone can get fangs surgically implanted)...all cast reflections...and the only reason a vampire might be a tad paler than most is an avoidance of sunlight (if they are sensitive to it).
* Misconception: Vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a superior race and who insist that everyone accept the fact of their existance. Vampires will, if necessary use threats and/or go mainstream (ie: appear on tv shows, in magazines, news casts, etc) to force people to believe in their existance.
* Reality: For the most part, vampires are very easy-going and tolerant...well as much, that is, as any other human being on earth. Many will not force their beliefs on others or share with the world that they are a vampire, unless a specific individual asks and/or is interested in learning. If that individual still doesn't care to believe that the vampire is a vampire (and/or has a difficult time of understanding the concept of real vampirism vs, stereotypical fictional/folkloric vampirism) then the vampire will generally not force the issue further. Real vampires also will rarely go mainstream with their nature...in fact, most, if anything, set about to undo the negative connotations the vampiric community has received by the influence of those alleged ';members'; of the vampire community (who aren't really members) who have indeed gone mainstream and committed heinous acts of crime, etc. Vampires also will not go around making threats such as ';Oh...I am a 400 year old vampire and if you don't surrender to me I will kill you, etc, etc). Most will even seek to debunk such fictionalized stereotypes. Furthermore, vampires generally also do not believe themselves a superior race, just a different race...if anything, they may have more of a deeper appreciation for life than do normal human beings. Basically, vampires tend to live by a ';to each his own'; motto...they will not judge your lifestyle/values/beliefs etc if you do not judge theirsVampires..what do you think?
yep, that sounds about right. I've known a few vampires and this rings true.
Looking through the other answers, I find it funny how quick people are to reject anything supernatural. Yet everyone I know has something which has happened to them which defies mundane explanation. So deep down people know that it's true, and yet they don't believe it. Funny.
As for the ';trancing out'; point, this is due to the fact that vampires tend to drain energy through the vision realm. With practice, they get better at entering and finding their way through the vision realm. The ability to easily enter into a trance state is essential.
Also, i have found that many vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a superior race, however you are right about them not wanting everyone to accept their existence. In fact, it works to their advantage to have people not believe.Vampires..what do you think?
Interesting fact about Vampires, a long time ago when this disorder was discovered called porphyria doctors advised people who suffer from it to drink human blood in order to balance their hemoglobin most people suffering from the disorder where all those things you just described.
I am a vampyre and I have to say, Wow most people can't weave out all the b/s but I have to give you props for you have done so. The mainstream ordeal, most vampyres will not discuss vampyrism with someone unless they trust the person with their life, it's a safety precaution.
Oh and by the way the only reason I'm revealing my nature of being a vampyre is because no one can really find any personal information on me so I am safe. ;)
Obsesed freaks.........
i know people like this, but they aren't frickin vampires!
i think they just have a certain complex that makes them act that way
Its so refreshing to meet someone who knows what they are talking about. These are lists I am very, very famliar with. I dont usually like to say much on the topic, but this is a very well informed collection of information about real Vampires, both sanguinarian and psychic. I think it's real.
most vampire types are the physic type that steal life energy not blood.
yes there are some forms of mental illness that mimic the classical coception and have a fasination with drinking blood.
others are being iniated into a cult and are drinking animal blood instead of human blood.
the only humans that can be called vampires are canables. which may have originaly started some of the legends.
valid the impaler was not a vampire.
some female rolality though that bathing in human blood would keep them young looking.
Absolutely. In college I was dating a girl who, as it turns out, was a vampire.
It took me several months to come to this realization for I was fixated on her limitless beauty and infinite wisdom.
Her skin was as pale as the flesh of a lychee glowing in the moonlight for she refused to be seen by daylight.
She took classes in the evening and slept by day. The only times I saw her outdoors in the dawn were when it was raining. She loved the rain. She had a large collection of trench coats and umbrellas. Under her coat she wore the most lovely skirts. I always got a kick out of seeing her wear a skirt with boots. (not literally)
I loved her. When she was ill I would tend to her. When she was sad I would comfort her. The realization that she was a vampire momentarily stopped my heart as I was overcome by respect and fear.
In the end, I decided to break it off. I don't think that I am cut out to be a vampire. Perhaps I had the opportunity but I have yet to regret my decision.
I have mixed feeling between logic and myth. Did you know that there is a disease out there that makes you crave blood because of the iron in it and they are unable to go out at night.
Honestly i like the anne rice way of talking about vampires but you have made me feel crazy and stupid
Yowza. :D *LOL* I think I just met someone more verbose than *I* am. Ye gods.....that wasn't a question, that was an *essay*. For future reference, at least *warn* folks that you're going to fold, spindle and mutliate the typical character limits Yahoo has for the rest of us on questions. *lol* ;)) Like I am so terribly terse myself, but wow....
Ok...what I think is this. Vampires, in the mythological and folkloric sense are in fact *myths* in the full sense, meaning 90% of what is out there is myth and fiction....but that there is also a wee kernel of truth to it, and that the wee bit of truth behind the curtain is what maintains the mythology.
And I am *not* going to go down your checklist, ok? Because a) I don't particularly *like* the PR-game slant you are using on this list, trying to make Vampires just ';mutants like us'; so that they look good--truth is, a lot of what goes on in terms of *vampiric psychology* is just plain unhealthy and a result of neurological and/or metabolic damage IMHO, and shouldn't be celebrated as ';the next big thing'; in evolution if it isn't *really* evolution *forward*, and b) because, well....your list is so long and inclusive that *anyone* who feels like a misfit at some point could fit in and claim vampirism. Which rather misses the point to anyone who knows *anything* about where vampires *fit in* on a cultural level: namely they are the meme-in-the-flesh for the predatory elites of our society, the literal nightmare construct we use to describe the *real-life* blood suckers we have to deal with on a societal level.
And....not to brag. Mind you. This isn't something to be proud of, but some degree of vampiric psychology runs *strongly* in my family. Especially on my mother's side. But a lot of it is also darwinian too, as in it was something my mother had to learn and acquire to survive her childhood (after being in a severe car accident at the age of 13, and being told repeatedly that she'd be too brain-damaged and disabled to ever have anything resembling a normal life), and it was something my sisters and myself had to learn, to a lesser degree, to survive our own childhoods at the hands of an emotionally distant and neglectful, brain-damaged and disabled mother who drank and smoked herself to death, and also at the hands of a psychotic, violent, predatory beast of a father....
In other words, we had to take the long-term damage to our health to survive and *get out* in one piece. And I don't consider that making me some sort of *homo superior* or some sort of legend, *lol*.
If you would like to know more, please email me, I will NOT expose myself to further nit-picking and wise-cracking by the close-minded, ok? I already have enough skeletons in my closet without someone laughing at me over my mom being an emotional drainer (drunk or sober, as an entirely unconscious and reflexive thing, mind you, she had no control over it until she was *very old in life*), or over my spending my childhood in misery because I had asthma and allergy symptoms that *got worse* out in bright sunlight, ok? And before you ask, ';photophobic'; allergenic reactions to bright lighting are in fact well-documented medical phenomena...
But yeah, email me if you'd like to know more, last I checked that option was still turned on in my Answers Profile. Just keep in mind I am a weird one and definitely qualify as ';damaged goods';. :)
Sounds to me like youve fallen for the same type of thing people fall for when psycics say '; a terrible tragidy will come'; ..well there are always bad things happening.. so someone wrote a book or website on what youve written and you bought into it.. good for you. but the truth is youve just described nearly 1/2 the population AT LEAST on earth or at least most of what you said does.. and then whats more telling is the disclamer that well even though someone fits this mold that doesnt really make them a vampire.. my bull **** alarms are going off. and yours shouldve too
Does anyone NOT fit into one of these catagories or is it only those who prefer not to read them?? I DO BELIEVE there are way too many generalizations here to put a check mark in the Vampire box! If I WERE one I may get annoyed that you deem us so common .
That was the dumbest thing I have ever read and I feel dumber for having read it. Thank you for dumbing me up!!
100% pure, uncut bullshit.
I hate to break it to you, but vampires are imaginary. All this myth/reality stuff you're saying is that vampires are just like normal humans...ergo, vampires as they're known in stories don't exist, just humans who happen to have some psychopathic fixation on blood.
You can use any name you want for it, it's still a human being.
Vampires are usually people who just want to belong, like everyone else. They just made up a group to belong to.
Now see, you're looking here at one of the oldest debates.
Vampires were, simply put, created as fiction. Following this, people quickly began to compare the fiction with older folk legends and strange goings-on and to suspect that the condition of vamyrism was actually a genuine, factful disease.
There are physical and mental illensses that can cause the effects of vampyrism, such as porphyria (physical) and schitzophrenia (psychological).
A more recent notion is the idea of both psychic and pranic vampyres. Pranic being the traditional archetypal romantic vampyre stereotype, and psychic being the modern vampyre projection, a person that feeds off the pure energy given off by people.
This is a debate that could go on for a long time, and which really needs to be argued not with personal opinion but with medically accurate information relating the physiological potential for vampyrism (remembering such things at the fact that blood is a natural emetic, and in humans induces vomiting if consumed in large quantities) and psychological evidence as to the mental condition of most people claiming to be vampyres, not to mention the history of vampyrism in literature and legend.
Basically what most people on here that are answering the question don't realize what you're trying to say is that: Vampires aren't the fiction stories you hear about, they are very real. People are still hung on the fiction they have been fed so, so it's probably hard for them to believe there actually vampires out there. Vampires are very real in this world, except not all the fictional details like you said. I've even watched documents on humans who are vampires, they are normal people who do add up to all of those details. I think the people who are saying that anybody could have some of those details, are quite missing the main one, you have to have an addiction.
So yes, vampires are real. Just drop the fictional details, and see them as normal people. Most vampires have friends that will let them drink their blood, so they won't attack you. Mainly people need to stop burying their heads in all this interesting fictional stuff, and realize that almost everything is stretched out more than it really is, just to make it interesting.
I think you did an excellent job on covering what vampires do, and what they are like. Also you did a phenomenal job on clearing up all that fictional crap. Good job! ^_^
You have a wonderful day as well! ^_^
Vampires are not this long winded .they grab you and come to the point
two points in fact
you would have been an emty bag of skin after the first paragraph.
Vampires are in reality Anunaki .who need to drink blood to retain their human form.
they originally were refugees from Mars ,before it was knocked out of Orbit .
and they got no principles that humans can relate to,
they literaly get a charge out of the fear that is produced by humans
try to prove me wrong
,you will not be able to do it
Omg! All of this time I have been telling these poor souls on here that vampires are not real and you just described everything about me. I never thought anything about it because I hate onion and garlic. My dad's eyes are sensitive to light so I thought that is where I got that. I REALLY only have two people in my life. I would rather sleep all day. Everything....I am usually never sick but if I am it is severe. I am so shocked! YOU have to tell me more! I do study Wicca and even my very first spell worked...I passed it off as beginners luck and my Indian heritage! OMG!!! I AM SO FREAKIN OUT!
umm, let me think....
misconception: there is such thing as a vampire
reality: vampires dont exist. its just a myth/legend that is made up by people in the past.
fantasy is cool but you've stepped over the line into...The Twilight Zone.
So where's the REAL question? I just see someone posting all their ideas about a fictional archetype. Weird.
Whoa u totally studied...... but yea i think theyre FASCINATING!!!!!!!! i luv reading about them!!!!!!!!!!! theyre always so hott in the movies!!!!!
I think your a vampire! JK I think vampires in movies are sexy, erotic, sexual, beautiful, and dangerous creatures. I love them!
Holy snappin arseholes!!!!! THATS ME!!!!
I'd like to know where you are getting all of your information, really? I mean are you like a vampire scholar and if so what do you think of the new Blade tv show?
wow. i'm a vampire! you basically described me as a psy-vamp. sweeeeet!
wow, thats alot to read. but I will say I am a vampire hunter.
girl everthing u said describes my best friend...thats freaky. i mean everything u said describes her. can u get back to me on this vamirer stuff? e-mail me plz.
* You have a strong desire for and/or Stimulation by blood (sexual, revitalizing or otherwise)
* You have a nameless craving that can never quite be fulfilled
* People you get close to tend to become tired, weary and upset a lot around you
* People tend to find you interesting at first, then begin to avoid you
* Even when surrounded by others, you always feel alone
* Sunlight/bright light in general hurts your eyes (but you can go out in it, even so)
* You tend to be a night person by nature (because you may feel more comfortable and ';alive'; at this time)
* You have had a strong interest in vampires(in any aspect of the genre) probably since puberty onwards
* You have had a strong interest in vampires since a traumatic event occured in your life
* You don't get sick often, or if you do, the maladies are often strange or severe
* You are a fast healer
* Sex tends to leave you feeling revitalized and full of energy
* You have drank blood before or would like to, if you could
* You enjoy imbibing sexual fluids because of the vitality they contain
* Electrical appliances and you don't generally tend to get along well (watches stop often, computers malfunction for no reason, microwaves start up by themselves, etc)
* You prefer rich fabrics, tastes, scents etc.
* You are very sensitive to sensory extremes (strong scents, rough textures, sour tastes,etc)
* You feel totally different on some elemental,intuitive level to most other human beings
* You feel you don't belong in this century, maybe even this world
* You believe in reincarnation and maybe even have had past life visions
* Your dreams are often extremely vivid and sometimes result in cases of deja vu
* You easily ';trance out'; or find yourself detached from the world
* You posess an ability similar to ESP (or are highly intuitive in general)
* People often find you very empathetic to how they feel
* People often either trust you completely or think you are very dangerous.
* Your style of clothing tends to be more on the dramatic side
* Your relationships tend to be very rocky and emotionally unstable
* Your relationships tend to be very intense and passionate
* People tell you that you are too intense/an ';enigma';/';dark hole';/add similar phrase here
* You look younger than you are (when you're beyond twenty years of age) or look older than you are (when you are younger than 20 yrs of age)
* You can see and/or read auras
* Animals tend to get along well with you
* You have good, natural ';magickal'; abilities (if you do spells, etc, usually they work)
* You have only one or two friends/lovers who really understand you and whom you get along with
* When you will things to happen, they usually do
* You can often easily tell how other people are feeling
* You feel sick/get rashes/etc in the daytime when the sun is shining
* (you're a woman) Your period starts late in the day and your cycle is usually timed to the full moon
* You suffer from allergies
Important Note: Many visitors to VAU tell me that they have most of or all of these symptoms and does this mean they are definately a vampire? The answer is, not necessarily. Having all of these traits does not necessarily mean you are vampiric, nor does having none of these traits mean you are not necessarily vampiric. Therefore, let the following be your primary indicator of vampirism above all else: a real vampire, whether psychic or blood oriented, will have a craving. The vampire will either know what he/she craves, or will have a nameless craving they can't quite put their finger on, but nevertheless it is there. If you don't have a craving, you are not a vampire.
Common Misconceptions and their realities
* Misconception: Vampires are seductive, powerful, hypnotic creatures
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, although generally tend to have more intense, charismatic personalities.
* Misconception: Vampires don't need jobs
* Reality: Vampires need to earn a living just like everyone else. They hold all types of jobs from the mundane to the exciting, just like everybody else also.
* Misconception: Vampires are physically immortal and/or undead
* Reality: Vampires are physically mortal, with immortal souls. Vampires live normal lifespans and normal lives and have never, at any point in their physical life, died and risen from the grave.
* Misconception: Vampires are repelled by garlic/crosses/roses/etc
* Reality: Vampires can eat anything, are of all religions and the only time they might be repelled by a rose is if the thorn happens to prick them :)
* Misconception: Vampires drink only blood
* Reality: Vampires come in two types: The blood drinking type (sanguivores) and the energy absorbing type (psy-vamps). They, just like any other human, cannot survive without a regular diet of food and drink as well.
* Misconception: Vampires are evil and know what they are doing is evil and wrong
* Reality: Evil is a relative term, and there is no being on earth who can state with any validation what is good and what is evil. There are a great many evil humans out there too, anyway. Furthermore, not all vampires even know they are vampires...let alone contemplating whether their vampirism makes them good or bad.
* Misconception: Vampires can't go out in sunlight
* Reality: Vampires can go out in sunlight, it just generally tends to hurt their eyes and/or give them heat rashes/headaches or illness (to varied degrees)
* Misconception: The only way a vampire can be killed is through sunlight/staking/add other fictional vampire-killing method here
* Reality: Vampires can die of anything from bullets to AIDS to even a stake through the heart...just like any other human being. Sunlight; however, will not kill a vampire...this is a fictional device.
* Misconception: Vampires sleep in coffins/wear capes/have fangs/ are extremely pale/cast no reflection/etc
* Reality: Vampires are just like everyone else, as I've said. Many look, dress and live quite normally. None are borne with fangs (tho anyone and everyone can get fangs surgically implanted)...all cast reflections...and the only reason a vampire might be a tad paler than most is an avoidance of sunlight (if they are sensitive to it).
* Misconception: Vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a superior race and who insist that everyone accept the fact of their existance. Vampires will, if necessary use threats and/or go mainstream (ie: appear on tv shows, in magazines, news casts, etc) to force people to believe in their existance.
* Reality: For the most part, vampires are very easy-going and tolerant...well as much, that is, as any other human being on earth. Many will not force their beliefs on others or share with the world that they are a vampire, unless a specific individual asks and/or is interested in learning. If that individual still doesn't care to believe that the vampire is a vampire (and/or has a difficult time of understanding the concept of real vampirism vs, stereotypical fictional/folkloric vampirism) then the vampire will generally not force the issue further. Real vampires also will rarely go mainstream with their nature...in fact, most, if anything, set about to undo the negative connotations the vampiric community has received by the influence of those alleged ';members'; of the vampire community (who aren't really members) who have indeed gone mainstream and committed heinous acts of crime, etc. Vampires also will not go around making threats such as ';Oh...I am a 400 year old vampire and if you don't surrender to me I will kill you, etc, etc). Most will even seek to debunk such fictionalized stereotypes. Furthermore, vampires generally also do not believe themselves a superior race, just a different race...if anything, they may have more of a deeper appreciation for life than do normal human beings. Basically, vampires tend to live by a ';to each his own'; motto...they will not judge your lifestyle/values/beliefs etc if you do not judge theirsVampires..what do you think?
yep, that sounds about right. I've known a few vampires and this rings true.
Looking through the other answers, I find it funny how quick people are to reject anything supernatural. Yet everyone I know has something which has happened to them which defies mundane explanation. So deep down people know that it's true, and yet they don't believe it. Funny.
As for the ';trancing out'; point, this is due to the fact that vampires tend to drain energy through the vision realm. With practice, they get better at entering and finding their way through the vision realm. The ability to easily enter into a trance state is essential.
Also, i have found that many vampires are pretentious/arrogant beings who believe they are a superior race, however you are right about them not wanting everyone to accept their existence. In fact, it works to their advantage to have people not believe.Vampires..what do you think?
Interesting fact about Vampires, a long time ago when this disorder was discovered called porphyria doctors advised people who suffer from it to drink human blood in order to balance their hemoglobin most people suffering from the disorder where all those things you just described.
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I am a vampyre and I have to say, Wow most people can't weave out all the b/s but I have to give you props for you have done so. The mainstream ordeal, most vampyres will not discuss vampyrism with someone unless they trust the person with their life, it's a safety precaution.
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Oh and by the way the only reason I'm revealing my nature of being a vampyre is because no one can really find any personal information on me so I am safe. ;)
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Obsesed freaks.........
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i know people like this, but they aren't frickin vampires!
i think they just have a certain complex that makes them act that way
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Its so refreshing to meet someone who knows what they are talking about. These are lists I am very, very famliar with. I dont usually like to say much on the topic, but this is a very well informed collection of information about real Vampires, both sanguinarian and psychic. I think it's real.
most vampire types are the physic type that steal life energy not blood.
yes there are some forms of mental illness that mimic the classical coception and have a fasination with drinking blood.
others are being iniated into a cult and are drinking animal blood instead of human blood.
the only humans that can be called vampires are canables. which may have originaly started some of the legends.
valid the impaler was not a vampire.
some female rolality though that bathing in human blood would keep them young looking.
Absolutely. In college I was dating a girl who, as it turns out, was a vampire.
It took me several months to come to this realization for I was fixated on her limitless beauty and infinite wisdom.
Her skin was as pale as the flesh of a lychee glowing in the moonlight for she refused to be seen by daylight.
She took classes in the evening and slept by day. The only times I saw her outdoors in the dawn were when it was raining. She loved the rain. She had a large collection of trench coats and umbrellas. Under her coat she wore the most lovely skirts. I always got a kick out of seeing her wear a skirt with boots. (not literally)
I loved her. When she was ill I would tend to her. When she was sad I would comfort her. The realization that she was a vampire momentarily stopped my heart as I was overcome by respect and fear.
In the end, I decided to break it off. I don't think that I am cut out to be a vampire. Perhaps I had the opportunity but I have yet to regret my decision.
I have mixed feeling between logic and myth. Did you know that there is a disease out there that makes you crave blood because of the iron in it and they are unable to go out at night.
Honestly i like the anne rice way of talking about vampires but you have made me feel crazy and stupid
Yowza. :D *LOL* I think I just met someone more verbose than *I* am. Ye gods.....that wasn't a question, that was an *essay*. For future reference, at least *warn* folks that you're going to fold, spindle and mutliate the typical character limits Yahoo has for the rest of us on questions. *lol* ;)) Like I am so terribly terse myself, but wow....
Ok...what I think is this. Vampires, in the mythological and folkloric sense are in fact *myths* in the full sense, meaning 90% of what is out there is myth and fiction....but that there is also a wee kernel of truth to it, and that the wee bit of truth behind the curtain is what maintains the mythology.
And I am *not* going to go down your checklist, ok? Because a) I don't particularly *like* the PR-game slant you are using on this list, trying to make Vampires just ';mutants like us'; so that they look good--truth is, a lot of what goes on in terms of *vampiric psychology* is just plain unhealthy and a result of neurological and/or metabolic damage IMHO, and shouldn't be celebrated as ';the next big thing'; in evolution if it isn't *really* evolution *forward*, and b) because, well....your list is so long and inclusive that *anyone* who feels like a misfit at some point could fit in and claim vampirism. Which rather misses the point to anyone who knows *anything* about where vampires *fit in* on a cultural level: namely they are the meme-in-the-flesh for the predatory elites of our society, the literal nightmare construct we use to describe the *real-life* blood suckers we have to deal with on a societal level.
And....not to brag. Mind you. This isn't something to be proud of, but some degree of vampiric psychology runs *strongly* in my family. Especially on my mother's side. But a lot of it is also darwinian too, as in it was something my mother had to learn and acquire to survive her childhood (after being in a severe car accident at the age of 13, and being told repeatedly that she'd be too brain-damaged and disabled to ever have anything resembling a normal life), and it was something my sisters and myself had to learn, to a lesser degree, to survive our own childhoods at the hands of an emotionally distant and neglectful, brain-damaged and disabled mother who drank and smoked herself to death, and also at the hands of a psychotic, violent, predatory beast of a father....
In other words, we had to take the long-term damage to our health to survive and *get out* in one piece. And I don't consider that making me some sort of *homo superior* or some sort of legend, *lol*.
If you would like to know more, please email me, I will NOT expose myself to further nit-picking and wise-cracking by the close-minded, ok? I already have enough skeletons in my closet without someone laughing at me over my mom being an emotional drainer (drunk or sober, as an entirely unconscious and reflexive thing, mind you, she had no control over it until she was *very old in life*), or over my spending my childhood in misery because I had asthma and allergy symptoms that *got worse* out in bright sunlight, ok? And before you ask, ';photophobic'; allergenic reactions to bright lighting are in fact well-documented medical phenomena...
But yeah, email me if you'd like to know more, last I checked that option was still turned on in my Answers Profile. Just keep in mind I am a weird one and definitely qualify as ';damaged goods';. :)
Sounds to me like youve fallen for the same type of thing people fall for when psycics say '; a terrible tragidy will come'; ..well there are always bad things happening.. so someone wrote a book or website on what youve written and you bought into it.. good for you. but the truth is youve just described nearly 1/2 the population AT LEAST on earth or at least most of what you said does.. and then whats more telling is the disclamer that well even though someone fits this mold that doesnt really make them a vampire.. my bull **** alarms are going off. and yours shouldve too
Does anyone NOT fit into one of these catagories or is it only those who prefer not to read them?? I DO BELIEVE there are way too many generalizations here to put a check mark in the Vampire box! If I WERE one I may get annoyed that you deem us so common .
That was the dumbest thing I have ever read and I feel dumber for having read it. Thank you for dumbing me up!!
100% pure, uncut bullshit.
I hate to break it to you, but vampires are imaginary. All this myth/reality stuff you're saying is that vampires are just like normal humans...ergo, vampires as they're known in stories don't exist, just humans who happen to have some psychopathic fixation on blood.
You can use any name you want for it, it's still a human being.
Vampires are usually people who just want to belong, like everyone else. They just made up a group to belong to.
Now see, you're looking here at one of the oldest debates.
Vampires were, simply put, created as fiction. Following this, people quickly began to compare the fiction with older folk legends and strange goings-on and to suspect that the condition of vamyrism was actually a genuine, factful disease.
There are physical and mental illensses that can cause the effects of vampyrism, such as porphyria (physical) and schitzophrenia (psychological).
A more recent notion is the idea of both psychic and pranic vampyres. Pranic being the traditional archetypal romantic vampyre stereotype, and psychic being the modern vampyre projection, a person that feeds off the pure energy given off by people.
This is a debate that could go on for a long time, and which really needs to be argued not with personal opinion but with medically accurate information relating the physiological potential for vampyrism (remembering such things at the fact that blood is a natural emetic, and in humans induces vomiting if consumed in large quantities) and psychological evidence as to the mental condition of most people claiming to be vampyres, not to mention the history of vampyrism in literature and legend.
Basically what most people on here that are answering the question don't realize what you're trying to say is that: Vampires aren't the fiction stories you hear about, they are very real. People are still hung on the fiction they have been fed so, so it's probably hard for them to believe there actually vampires out there. Vampires are very real in this world, except not all the fictional details like you said. I've even watched documents on humans who are vampires, they are normal people who do add up to all of those details. I think the people who are saying that anybody could have some of those details, are quite missing the main one, you have to have an addiction.
So yes, vampires are real. Just drop the fictional details, and see them as normal people. Most vampires have friends that will let them drink their blood, so they won't attack you. Mainly people need to stop burying their heads in all this interesting fictional stuff, and realize that almost everything is stretched out more than it really is, just to make it interesting.
I think you did an excellent job on covering what vampires do, and what they are like. Also you did a phenomenal job on clearing up all that fictional crap. Good job! ^_^
You have a wonderful day as well! ^_^
Vampires are not this long winded .they grab you and come to the point
two points in fact
you would have been an emty bag of skin after the first paragraph.
Vampires are in reality Anunaki .who need to drink blood to retain their human form.
they originally were refugees from Mars ,before it was knocked out of Orbit .
and they got no principles that humans can relate to,
they literaly get a charge out of the fear that is produced by humans
try to prove me wrong
,you will not be able to do it
Omg! All of this time I have been telling these poor souls on here that vampires are not real and you just described everything about me. I never thought anything about it because I hate onion and garlic. My dad's eyes are sensitive to light so I thought that is where I got that. I REALLY only have two people in my life. I would rather sleep all day. Everything....I am usually never sick but if I am it is severe. I am so shocked! YOU have to tell me more! I do study Wicca and even my very first spell worked...I passed it off as beginners luck and my Indian heritage! OMG!!! I AM SO FREAKIN OUT!
umm, let me think....
misconception: there is such thing as a vampire
reality: vampires dont exist. its just a myth/legend that is made up by people in the past.
fantasy is cool but you've stepped over the line into...The Twilight Zone.
So where's the REAL question? I just see someone posting all their ideas about a fictional archetype. Weird.
Whoa u totally studied...... but yea i think theyre FASCINATING!!!!!!!! i luv reading about them!!!!!!!!!!! theyre always so hott in the movies!!!!!
I think your a vampire! JK I think vampires in movies are sexy, erotic, sexual, beautiful, and dangerous creatures. I love them!
Holy snappin arseholes!!!!! THATS ME!!!!
I'd like to know where you are getting all of your information, really? I mean are you like a vampire scholar and if so what do you think of the new Blade tv show?
wow. i'm a vampire! you basically described me as a psy-vamp. sweeeeet!
wow, thats alot to read. but I will say I am a vampire hunter.
girl everthing u said describes my best friend...thats freaky. i mean everything u said describes her. can u get back to me on this vamirer stuff? e-mail me plz.
How was evey body's summer?
i know it october almost november but how was every body summer
here how mine went my last day of school was the 20th of may great day last day of sophomore year for high school
i get home my dad ask me do you want to go to hang with your cousin matt and aaron and aunt becky and uncle brenton for like 7 days sure that be great my cousin were out of school as well
so i go down there
my uncle asked andrew do you want to go for a drive all let yuo drive i had my licessnes sure this was on may 25 ok we left around 10:30 gone for about and hour talked and stuff
getting back see my aunt and uncle own a resort we get bakc about 3 minuets away dont no what happen we both passes guess what happens next we are both passed out what do we do were passed out the truck is still going we going sliding donw this huge and when i say huge i mean huge hill truck tumbles about 5 times we wake up my leg 2 leg coverd blood and right arm my back hurt like i see my cell phone on the ground try to grave it to call 911 i here a guy voice in the open yelling hello hello i just saw the crash from ym house my uncle yell i yell help were in the truck he see us oh my god im calling 911 police fire ambulance arive in 10 minuets fast i willl tell you my aunt and cousin are down the road they here that close that very close oh no uncle brenton and andrew are out on a drive they run up there see the police fire ambulance my aunt she told me she was crying my cousin hit his hand into the ground he told me this they get us out they ask me can you see how many fingers am i holding 3 who the president obama he asked me a bunch of question same thing with my uncle
we get to the hospital i go into surgry fast so does my uncle i broke my tibia femur 3 ribs and arm my uncle hurt his voice and shoulder bad
they transfer me to my hospital that i go to i had to have surgry on my tibia and femur and arm had to learn to walk again took months and my uncle got his voice back and his shoulder is great i never got to thank the guy who help us and called 911 the guy was actully a first responder and saw the crash drom his house he did allot for us that day so that how my summer went how was yours
sorry for ym spelling in special ed all my lifei have had trouble with itHow was evey body's summer?
my brothers name is brenton. my summer was boringHow was evey body's summer?
My summer was wet
here how mine went my last day of school was the 20th of may great day last day of sophomore year for high school
i get home my dad ask me do you want to go to hang with your cousin matt and aaron and aunt becky and uncle brenton for like 7 days sure that be great my cousin were out of school as well
so i go down there
my uncle asked andrew do you want to go for a drive all let yuo drive i had my licessnes sure this was on may 25 ok we left around 10:30 gone for about and hour talked and stuff
getting back see my aunt and uncle own a resort we get bakc about 3 minuets away dont no what happen we both passes guess what happens next we are both passed out what do we do were passed out the truck is still going we going sliding donw this huge and when i say huge i mean huge hill truck tumbles about 5 times we wake up my leg 2 leg coverd blood and right arm my back hurt like i see my cell phone on the ground try to grave it to call 911 i here a guy voice in the open yelling hello hello i just saw the crash from ym house my uncle yell i yell help were in the truck he see us oh my god im calling 911 police fire ambulance arive in 10 minuets fast i willl tell you my aunt and cousin are down the road they here that close that very close oh no uncle brenton and andrew are out on a drive they run up there see the police fire ambulance my aunt she told me she was crying my cousin hit his hand into the ground he told me this they get us out they ask me can you see how many fingers am i holding 3 who the president obama he asked me a bunch of question same thing with my uncle
we get to the hospital i go into surgry fast so does my uncle i broke my tibia femur 3 ribs and arm my uncle hurt his voice and shoulder bad
they transfer me to my hospital that i go to i had to have surgry on my tibia and femur and arm had to learn to walk again took months and my uncle got his voice back and his shoulder is great i never got to thank the guy who help us and called 911 the guy was actully a first responder and saw the crash drom his house he did allot for us that day so that how my summer went how was yours
sorry for ym spelling in special ed all my lifei have had trouble with itHow was evey body's summer?
my brothers name is brenton. my summer was boringHow was evey body's summer?
My summer was wet
Please read part of my story! 10 pts!?
So, I've picked a randon page out of my story, and put it up here. Please don't criticize my grammer and spelling, I know that there are mistakes. Tell me what you DO like, as well as the parts you really don't. THANKS!!
“I’m not sure how to describe her. You know the nursery rhyme about Little Bo Peep?”
“Um, Yeah.”
The doors reopened. “That’s my mom, minus the spider.”
Leo raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
We got to my apartment quickly; it wasn’t far from the agency. Nyx had been right about the rain. Every drop of water that touched my skin sent a tingle down my spine and sureness to my step. Leo wanted to take the elevator but I convinced him that the fire escape was a better idea; I couldn’t handle seeing Joseph as sweet as he was.
“We could’ve flown.” He grumbled, when I accidentally kicked him in the face. Eventually we reached the top platform and I hoisted myself through the bathroom window. Leo followed, but made way too much noise.
I heard my Isadora’s voice hesitantly call out, “Julie?”
I took a deep breath and opened my bathroom door, then my bedroom door. I’d expected to see her, wearing her usual red lipstick and Chanel suit but what I found almost made me scream. She was makeup free and wearing a nightgown. She had a black eye and her hands were tied behind her back. There were two men standing above her, one of them was pointing a Glok at her.
“I’m here.” I said, working hard to keep my voice even.
Tears streaked her face.
The man turned to me, the gun with him. His face was brutal and scarred. He was muscular and boxy, not much taller than Leo.
“The infamous Julie Blacktree.”
“Wrong, Clio Proud.”
I pulled my knife out. I wasn’t afraid of his gun.
I heard Leo’s knife come out of his scabbard, which made me feel better.
The man just laughed. “I don’t take kindly to one of my men being killed. My mind flashed to Felix O’Tay.
“He deserved what he got.”
The man laughed, a sickening sound. “Did he insult the little brat? Did the big scary man hurt your feelings?”
I took three steps forward, inches from him.
“I’m not afraid of you. I wasn’t afraid of that imbecile either.”
He slapped me hard across the face. Isadora gasped. I’d never give him the satisfaction of showing my pain. I just laughed. “Do it again. I dare you, see if I care.”
He tried to but I ducked low, stabbing his foot.
“Leo, now!” I yelled.
The man I’d stabbed started swearing quite loudly while Leo stabbed the other guy in the chest. He fell instantly like a toy solider. The man shot me. It hit me right where my heart was and it felt like someone flicking me. The man stared at me in shock. I grinned and pounced, my sword tip was inches away from his heart when I heard his gun fire again. I knew I had to kill him first. I pushed it deep into his heart and twisted. He fell, grasping for it. I turned quickly. Leo was still standing. Isadora! I ran to her and heard her whisper, “Julie!”
I held her hand tight. Scarlet blood was spreading from a wound in her left shoulder.
“I’m here, I’m here.” I said softly. I could see a light fading from behind her eyes.
She opened her mouth but no sound came out, just a trickle of blood. I could see her lips mouth the words “I’m sorry.” Then her eyes fixed on mine and her fingers went limp in my hand.
“No!” I yelled. The tears were coming fast. Pouring down my cheeks. I hugged her tight but as I did she began to fade, turning to air. Where she had been there was a pearl necklace that she always slept in. I felt Leo crouch by my side and I tried to wipe away the tears but they kept on coming.
“It’s ok to cry.” He said quietly.
I tried to find my voice while forcing the tears back.
“No. I’m not weak.”
“No you’re not.”
“Only the weak cry.” I whispered, snatching the pearls up and latching them around my neck. They felt warm against my collarbone. The heat of her life was still in them, even though it had disappeared in her. I ran through my bed and bathroom, hopping back onto the ledge. There was a railing around the platform and I climbed onto it. I stood perfectly still, the rain beating down against my face. Leo climbed out and joined me. We stood there, balancing on our heels. I held my sword up, letting the rain wash away the man’s blood. I heard Leo say my name but it was far away. It was all way too far away to think about. I let a strangled sob escape from my lips and I jumped.Please read part of my story! 10 pts!?
wow, you are good!
since i started reading i got entertained!
love it how u make the characters expressions discriptive, like Leo's and Nyx.
it felt like a real book i was reading.
good job!Please read part of my story! 10 pts!?
Fantastic story!! I really want to read more!
Ohmigod you're a GREAT writer. I would definitely buy %26amp;+ read it
“I’m not sure how to describe her. You know the nursery rhyme about Little Bo Peep?”
“Um, Yeah.”
The doors reopened. “That’s my mom, minus the spider.”
Leo raised his eyebrows but said nothing.
We got to my apartment quickly; it wasn’t far from the agency. Nyx had been right about the rain. Every drop of water that touched my skin sent a tingle down my spine and sureness to my step. Leo wanted to take the elevator but I convinced him that the fire escape was a better idea; I couldn’t handle seeing Joseph as sweet as he was.
“We could’ve flown.” He grumbled, when I accidentally kicked him in the face. Eventually we reached the top platform and I hoisted myself through the bathroom window. Leo followed, but made way too much noise.
I heard my Isadora’s voice hesitantly call out, “Julie?”
I took a deep breath and opened my bathroom door, then my bedroom door. I’d expected to see her, wearing her usual red lipstick and Chanel suit but what I found almost made me scream. She was makeup free and wearing a nightgown. She had a black eye and her hands were tied behind her back. There were two men standing above her, one of them was pointing a Glok at her.
“I’m here.” I said, working hard to keep my voice even.
Tears streaked her face.
The man turned to me, the gun with him. His face was brutal and scarred. He was muscular and boxy, not much taller than Leo.
“The infamous Julie Blacktree.”
“Wrong, Clio Proud.”
I pulled my knife out. I wasn’t afraid of his gun.
I heard Leo’s knife come out of his scabbard, which made me feel better.
The man just laughed. “I don’t take kindly to one of my men being killed. My mind flashed to Felix O’Tay.
“He deserved what he got.”
The man laughed, a sickening sound. “Did he insult the little brat? Did the big scary man hurt your feelings?”
I took three steps forward, inches from him.
“I’m not afraid of you. I wasn’t afraid of that imbecile either.”
He slapped me hard across the face. Isadora gasped. I’d never give him the satisfaction of showing my pain. I just laughed. “Do it again. I dare you, see if I care.”
He tried to but I ducked low, stabbing his foot.
“Leo, now!” I yelled.
The man I’d stabbed started swearing quite loudly while Leo stabbed the other guy in the chest. He fell instantly like a toy solider. The man shot me. It hit me right where my heart was and it felt like someone flicking me. The man stared at me in shock. I grinned and pounced, my sword tip was inches away from his heart when I heard his gun fire again. I knew I had to kill him first. I pushed it deep into his heart and twisted. He fell, grasping for it. I turned quickly. Leo was still standing. Isadora! I ran to her and heard her whisper, “Julie!”
I held her hand tight. Scarlet blood was spreading from a wound in her left shoulder.
“I’m here, I’m here.” I said softly. I could see a light fading from behind her eyes.
She opened her mouth but no sound came out, just a trickle of blood. I could see her lips mouth the words “I’m sorry.” Then her eyes fixed on mine and her fingers went limp in my hand.
“No!” I yelled. The tears were coming fast. Pouring down my cheeks. I hugged her tight but as I did she began to fade, turning to air. Where she had been there was a pearl necklace that she always slept in. I felt Leo crouch by my side and I tried to wipe away the tears but they kept on coming.
“It’s ok to cry.” He said quietly.
I tried to find my voice while forcing the tears back.
“No. I’m not weak.”
“No you’re not.”
“Only the weak cry.” I whispered, snatching the pearls up and latching them around my neck. They felt warm against my collarbone. The heat of her life was still in them, even though it had disappeared in her. I ran through my bed and bathroom, hopping back onto the ledge. There was a railing around the platform and I climbed onto it. I stood perfectly still, the rain beating down against my face. Leo climbed out and joined me. We stood there, balancing on our heels. I held my sword up, letting the rain wash away the man’s blood. I heard Leo say my name but it was far away. It was all way too far away to think about. I let a strangled sob escape from my lips and I jumped.Please read part of my story! 10 pts!?
wow, you are good!
since i started reading i got entertained!
love it how u make the characters expressions discriptive, like Leo's and Nyx.
it felt like a real book i was reading.
good job!Please read part of my story! 10 pts!?
Fantastic story!! I really want to read more!
Ohmigod you're a GREAT writer. I would definitely buy %26amp;+ read it
Can someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
Okay, I have really crappy writing skills (I don't think I have any at all) but I have this story plot, and as we all know (mostly the writters) It is so damn hard to start a story! So my mim (yes, I call my mother Mim) told me just to write. Write anything that comes to mind for the story. So this is what I got... It will be confusing because you will have no idea where it is, what has happened, or the characters. I, myself don't even know where I'm going to place this in my book. All I'm going to tell you, is that it takes place in the mid 1800's, I am not make any sence what so ever, I just feel like typing, blah, blah, blah. Like I said, it is really, really crappy. I don't like how I worded it at all %26gt;.%26lt; It feels like I'm just explaining it, I have this voice in my head (no, I'm not schizo 'and i'm not either!') *hahaha* anyway, I hear this really camling voice telling me the story (that I'm writting) but yet, I can't really hear the words. If you know what I mean by that. That made no sence at all.....I have 5 pages written so far. Please tell me (in a kind manner, 'please and thank you' I shall add) what I need to fix...I'm only 13! Sorry if there is any miss spelled words. (not the best speller here)
“There you are.” Wake said in relief as he bent down to catch his breathe. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” He lit a candle and walked over to Victor putting his white skeleton hand on his shoulder. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly as he placed the candle on the table next to him. Victor drew up and looked around the room. “I’m…I’m not…crying,” he said quickly as he rubbed his eyes. “I just got something in my eye. That’s all.” “Hmm.” Wake walked over to the table of candles. Victor watched as he lit the candles one by one with his bare fingers. Something that he has always enjoyed watching Wake do with his magic. “Oh really.” He said with a smile, “Then something must have really gotten caught in your eye because I could hear you whale from all the way down stairs.” He pulled out a bottle down from the wine rack, and walked over to him. Victor quickly turned his head the other way to hide the tears and his red face as Wake pulled on his ear gently. “If you don’t tell me,” He whispered in a childish voice. “then it’s only going to get worse.” Victor sighed and stared at the candle that he had lit for him. The amber flames lit the room dimly, as if there was a sepia haze in a picture.
Wake sat down across from him and pored the bottle of blood in a wine glass. “Here.” He insisted, but Victor shook his head sadly and buried his face in his arms again. “What is bothering you? You never turn down a freshly warmed glass of blood. You seem very…ill and tired. Tell me.” Victor said nothing, only a moan hummed across his lips. Wake sighed and leaned back in his chair crossing his legs. He held one hand underneath his arm and swirled the blood around in the wine glass. “Fine, suit yourself.” He said taking a sip. “We are having a party down stairs and everybody is looking for you.”
“You’re just saying that!” Victor clenched his teeth. “Why would anybody care about me, I’m a…” his voice slowly died into a whisper. “Come now, at least I want you to have a good time. We have saved up to buy three goats.” He put his warm hand on Victor’s neck, he quickly jerked away. “Victor…you’re so cold. When was the last time you’ve eaten?” he put his hand on his check. Victor slapped it away. “Go away! I don’t want to be bothered! Just leave me alone to…” his eyes strained as he stared blankly into the candles flickering flame. Bags had formed under his eyes and his face looked paler then usual. “Come. Ivan brought us a hog, which I have no idea where in the world he got it.” He thought to himself. “The others are looking for you.”
It's really crappy %26gt;.%26lt; I know the wording is really off. Yes they are Vampires. The goat, I can explain, they are really poor and only drink from animals. I really just want to know for now where my writing skills are in your point of veiw. 'only for this, it's not much to tell anything though' (without having any lessons on writting, as you may or may not have seen)
Rate: (1-5) I give myself a 0.5 XDCan someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
I wouldn't give you a 0.5...lol. Probably a 2.5 or 3. It's good, but needs more description. You said that you are having a hard time figuring out how to start the story. The easiest way is to make a diagram of ten scenes that will carry your plot line to the end. After you have done this, you can fill in scenes that carry your subplots, if you have any, and/or scenes that develop your characters or setting. Don't be so hard on yourself because your writing skills can only get better.
If you are very serious about writing a story or novel, I purchased a book that has helped me a lot and may be able to help you too. It's called ';The Writer's little helper'; by James V. Smith Jr.
Hope I helped!
Please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…Can someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
not bad
I actually liked it. Dont be so down on yourself. Please :(
“There you are.” Wake said in relief as he bent down to catch his breathe. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” He lit a candle and walked over to Victor putting his white skeleton hand on his shoulder. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly as he placed the candle on the table next to him. Victor drew up and looked around the room. “I’m…I’m not…crying,” he said quickly as he rubbed his eyes. “I just got something in my eye. That’s all.” “Hmm.” Wake walked over to the table of candles. Victor watched as he lit the candles one by one with his bare fingers. Something that he has always enjoyed watching Wake do with his magic. “Oh really.” He said with a smile, “Then something must have really gotten caught in your eye because I could hear you whale from all the way down stairs.” He pulled out a bottle down from the wine rack, and walked over to him. Victor quickly turned his head the other way to hide the tears and his red face as Wake pulled on his ear gently. “If you don’t tell me,” He whispered in a childish voice. “then it’s only going to get worse.” Victor sighed and stared at the candle that he had lit for him. The amber flames lit the room dimly, as if there was a sepia haze in a picture.
Wake sat down across from him and pored the bottle of blood in a wine glass. “Here.” He insisted, but Victor shook his head sadly and buried his face in his arms again. “What is bothering you? You never turn down a freshly warmed glass of blood. You seem very…ill and tired. Tell me.” Victor said nothing, only a moan hummed across his lips. Wake sighed and leaned back in his chair crossing his legs. He held one hand underneath his arm and swirled the blood around in the wine glass. “Fine, suit yourself.” He said taking a sip. “We are having a party down stairs and everybody is looking for you.”
“You’re just saying that!” Victor clenched his teeth. “Why would anybody care about me, I’m a…” his voice slowly died into a whisper. “Come now, at least I want you to have a good time. We have saved up to buy three goats.” He put his warm hand on Victor’s neck, he quickly jerked away. “Victor…you’re so cold. When was the last time you’ve eaten?” he put his hand on his check. Victor slapped it away. “Go away! I don’t want to be bothered! Just leave me alone to…” his eyes strained as he stared blankly into the candles flickering flame. Bags had formed under his eyes and his face looked paler then usual. “Come. Ivan brought us a hog, which I have no idea where in the world he got it.” He thought to himself. “The others are looking for you.”
It's really crappy %26gt;.%26lt; I know the wording is really off. Yes they are Vampires. The goat, I can explain, they are really poor and only drink from animals. I really just want to know for now where my writing skills are in your point of veiw. 'only for this, it's not much to tell anything though' (without having any lessons on writting, as you may or may not have seen)
Rate: (1-5) I give myself a 0.5 XDCan someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
I wouldn't give you a 0.5...lol. Probably a 2.5 or 3. It's good, but needs more description. You said that you are having a hard time figuring out how to start the story. The easiest way is to make a diagram of ten scenes that will carry your plot line to the end. After you have done this, you can fill in scenes that carry your subplots, if you have any, and/or scenes that develop your characters or setting. Don't be so hard on yourself because your writing skills can only get better.
If you are very serious about writing a story or novel, I purchased a book that has helped me a lot and may be able to help you too. It's called ';The Writer's little helper'; by James V. Smith Jr.
Hope I helped!
Please answer mine?
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…Can someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
not bad
I actually liked it. Dont be so down on yourself. Please :(
Would you read this book?
This is part of my english assesment, i have to write a bit of a novel, i have heard my classmates opinion on it and my teachers, they said it was intriging and im curious to know what you think of it. Creative critisem is welcome =D
Prologue [or however it鈥檚 spelt]
You think you know it all don鈥檛 you? When your seventeen years, life, time. It just speeds by without us giving it a second thought. I however gave it a second thought, a third, a fourth; I must have given it a million thoughts. Of course I realised how precious time is to think. I didn鈥檛 realise this straight away though... it was David who never realised it ever though, sick and twisted the world spins us around, up and away. There鈥檚 a small story I am about to tell you, the reason I tell you this first is because this is why my life ended, my unspoken love for one girl.
Rachel Leonard. The very thought of her tended to make me drift off, I always thought of myself as a ladies鈥?man back then, rather stupid I suppose. There was a time once, when I thought she loved me, but how wrong could I really get? I used to stare at her, the way her light brown hair fell like a perfect halo across her pale perfect face. The small way she smiled, shy yet full of confidence and bravery. She was different, that was what drove me insane around her, and many girls would have jumped at a chance to get my attention, anyone... but not her never her. I should mention right now that I and Rachel were best friends, the best of friends that any friend can really get. The trust between us, the closeness, and the edgy feeling of something more is what brought me to my death...
I died when I was seventeen.
Chapter one. 鈥?Loveless.
It was assembly, pretty much just another boring day, my step-farther stood on stage in a full on rant. I examined him with a frown; you think you got it tough? Is your step-dad the headmaster of your school? No? Not likely. The reason I never call him Dad is because of a unsteady relationship we have, my mother died when I was three, she had a incurable cancer, I wasn鈥檛 there when she died but I had imagined her death many times over, blood and horrible pain, I know cancer doesn鈥檛 cause deep wounds but my hatred and fear takes over my reason... I blamed my step-farther for being away so much, it wasn鈥檛 really his fault my mom caught cancer but, I thought I had to blame someone... just one person.
I felt my eyes sag, my head fell onto the shoulder next to me, I felt my brothers light blonde hair brush my cheek, I shivered at the feeling, he lightly pushed me off, I opened my eyes and looked at him, he gave me a look back and a light smile. It was like he could read my mind, maybe it felt like this because he wasn鈥檛 just my brother; he was my twin, my older twin. David Geller. I didn鈥檛 know at the time what he was really like. David looked after me, he sorted anything out, I know I really don鈥檛 sound like the type of person who needed looking after, but sometimes I did. David broke my gaze with a bored expression. I frowned slightly.
I began to glance around at some people nearby, no one I really knew was here in this hall anyone sensible would skive off, and I looked around for Rachel. She looked so content and happy just sitting there. Oh how I loved her.
I started to scan again my eyes landed on a mirror in the corner, I felt my hands fall into place on my hair fixing little flicks, I saw David behind me in the mirror I never thought how we looked alike till I saw both of us. Our pale complexions, shaggy dirty blonde hair, a small scatter of freckles across the nose. I smiled at the thought...
Fingers poked my ribs snapping me back into the room, I looked at David angrily, he was looking behind me up above my head, I turned around my felt and let out a moan. Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons I didn鈥檛 yet know. I grinned sheepishly ready to take my punishment.
***
Detention! I couldn鈥檛 believe that guys nerve! Just for fixing my hair, I was positively fuming as I made my way up to my dorms. I hated Private school it would be worse enough with normal school. Missing out on an after school time, but here we got detentions at the weekend! Urgh.
I heard small footsteps behind me, with a frown I ignored them, I didn鈥檛 care less who was going to try and calm me down today, they wouldn鈥檛 succeed , I was at a stage in my life where the slightest thing annoyed me.
I walked into my dorm, slamming the door without a second thought; no one was in here yet. Good! I stormed onto my bed, pulling off my shoes throwing them in a random corner; I lay down, running my hands down my face with a huge sigh. I heard the door handle twist. I didn鈥檛 look up though, not for a full minute till I heard a small light cough, the recognise-ation of it made me smile. I sat up, staring into the warm beautiful face of Rachel.
She made her way pointedly to me, sitting down next to me, with a soft smile. IWould you read this book?
I love how you have created each character with strong emotions which make the reader more closer to the person. The only thing i do think you haven't explained enough is why. Why does he love Rachel? Why does he go to a Private School-did he only get in because of his Father?
I have nothing against the Prologue [yes that's how you spell it]. It was extremely gripping and made me want to read more. I do have to nag at this bit:
'Fingers poked my ribs snapping me back into the room, I looked at David angrily, he was looking behind me up above my head, I turned around my felt and let out a moan. Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons I didn鈥檛 yet know. I grinned sheepishly ready to take my punishment.'
'I turned around and felt and let out a moan.
Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reason i didn't yet know.'
I would say you could add to these sentences by saying:
I turned around to fix my hair, feeling all of the knots wrapped inside. I let out a moan, and turned, only to come face to face with Mr Davis, a particular strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons i didn't yet know.
I hope this helps you and i expect that you'll get a very high mark for this- i certainly got hooked!
Dawn.
xoxWould you read this book?
Do you do really it??? It's wonderful!! You're good, when you do a book, you'll tell me and I'll buy it!!!
Yes, it sounds good
I would suggest you print it off and read it out loud or get someone to read it to you. The sentence structure needs changing e.g. in your prologue (you spelt it correctly) the second and third sentences need to be linked together as you have stopped and started a sentence in mid flow. There are other examples too e.g. ';I started to scan my eyes etc'; and ';it would be worse enough with normal school etc.';
Having said that the story does have body and it flows well too and the answer to your question is 'Yes I would read it but do polish your sentence structure first otherwise it is hard to read. Good luck with your assessment.
omg! i love it! u should put more on here id love to read it and im sure you will get an a on the assignment. theres also a website i use to put my own writing on and have fun with books its called goodreads.com thousands of ppl can read ur writing and give u input its very helpfullphp hosting windows xp
Prologue [or however it鈥檚 spelt]
You think you know it all don鈥檛 you? When your seventeen years, life, time. It just speeds by without us giving it a second thought. I however gave it a second thought, a third, a fourth; I must have given it a million thoughts. Of course I realised how precious time is to think. I didn鈥檛 realise this straight away though... it was David who never realised it ever though, sick and twisted the world spins us around, up and away. There鈥檚 a small story I am about to tell you, the reason I tell you this first is because this is why my life ended, my unspoken love for one girl.
Rachel Leonard. The very thought of her tended to make me drift off, I always thought of myself as a ladies鈥?man back then, rather stupid I suppose. There was a time once, when I thought she loved me, but how wrong could I really get? I used to stare at her, the way her light brown hair fell like a perfect halo across her pale perfect face. The small way she smiled, shy yet full of confidence and bravery. She was different, that was what drove me insane around her, and many girls would have jumped at a chance to get my attention, anyone... but not her never her. I should mention right now that I and Rachel were best friends, the best of friends that any friend can really get. The trust between us, the closeness, and the edgy feeling of something more is what brought me to my death...
I died when I was seventeen.
Chapter one. 鈥?Loveless.
It was assembly, pretty much just another boring day, my step-farther stood on stage in a full on rant. I examined him with a frown; you think you got it tough? Is your step-dad the headmaster of your school? No? Not likely. The reason I never call him Dad is because of a unsteady relationship we have, my mother died when I was three, she had a incurable cancer, I wasn鈥檛 there when she died but I had imagined her death many times over, blood and horrible pain, I know cancer doesn鈥檛 cause deep wounds but my hatred and fear takes over my reason... I blamed my step-farther for being away so much, it wasn鈥檛 really his fault my mom caught cancer but, I thought I had to blame someone... just one person.
I felt my eyes sag, my head fell onto the shoulder next to me, I felt my brothers light blonde hair brush my cheek, I shivered at the feeling, he lightly pushed me off, I opened my eyes and looked at him, he gave me a look back and a light smile. It was like he could read my mind, maybe it felt like this because he wasn鈥檛 just my brother; he was my twin, my older twin. David Geller. I didn鈥檛 know at the time what he was really like. David looked after me, he sorted anything out, I know I really don鈥檛 sound like the type of person who needed looking after, but sometimes I did. David broke my gaze with a bored expression. I frowned slightly.
I began to glance around at some people nearby, no one I really knew was here in this hall anyone sensible would skive off, and I looked around for Rachel. She looked so content and happy just sitting there. Oh how I loved her.
I started to scan again my eyes landed on a mirror in the corner, I felt my hands fall into place on my hair fixing little flicks, I saw David behind me in the mirror I never thought how we looked alike till I saw both of us. Our pale complexions, shaggy dirty blonde hair, a small scatter of freckles across the nose. I smiled at the thought...
Fingers poked my ribs snapping me back into the room, I looked at David angrily, he was looking behind me up above my head, I turned around my felt and let out a moan. Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons I didn鈥檛 yet know. I grinned sheepishly ready to take my punishment.
***
Detention! I couldn鈥檛 believe that guys nerve! Just for fixing my hair, I was positively fuming as I made my way up to my dorms. I hated Private school it would be worse enough with normal school. Missing out on an after school time, but here we got detentions at the weekend! Urgh.
I heard small footsteps behind me, with a frown I ignored them, I didn鈥檛 care less who was going to try and calm me down today, they wouldn鈥檛 succeed , I was at a stage in my life where the slightest thing annoyed me.
I walked into my dorm, slamming the door without a second thought; no one was in here yet. Good! I stormed onto my bed, pulling off my shoes throwing them in a random corner; I lay down, running my hands down my face with a huge sigh. I heard the door handle twist. I didn鈥檛 look up though, not for a full minute till I heard a small light cough, the recognise-ation of it made me smile. I sat up, staring into the warm beautiful face of Rachel.
She made her way pointedly to me, sitting down next to me, with a soft smile. IWould you read this book?
I love how you have created each character with strong emotions which make the reader more closer to the person. The only thing i do think you haven't explained enough is why. Why does he love Rachel? Why does he go to a Private School-did he only get in because of his Father?
I have nothing against the Prologue [yes that's how you spell it]. It was extremely gripping and made me want to read more. I do have to nag at this bit:
'Fingers poked my ribs snapping me back into the room, I looked at David angrily, he was looking behind me up above my head, I turned around my felt and let out a moan. Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons I didn鈥檛 yet know. I grinned sheepishly ready to take my punishment.'
'I turned around and felt and let out a moan.
Mr Davis, a particularly strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reason i didn't yet know.'
I would say you could add to these sentences by saying:
I turned around to fix my hair, feeling all of the knots wrapped inside. I let out a moan, and turned, only to come face to face with Mr Davis, a particular strict teacher who tended to pick on me for reasons i didn't yet know.
I hope this helps you and i expect that you'll get a very high mark for this- i certainly got hooked!
Dawn.
xoxWould you read this book?
Do you do really it??? It's wonderful!! You're good, when you do a book, you'll tell me and I'll buy it!!!
Yes, it sounds good
I would suggest you print it off and read it out loud or get someone to read it to you. The sentence structure needs changing e.g. in your prologue (you spelt it correctly) the second and third sentences need to be linked together as you have stopped and started a sentence in mid flow. There are other examples too e.g. ';I started to scan my eyes etc'; and ';it would be worse enough with normal school etc.';
Having said that the story does have body and it flows well too and the answer to your question is 'Yes I would read it but do polish your sentence structure first otherwise it is hard to read. Good luck with your assessment.
omg! i love it! u should put more on here id love to read it and im sure you will get an a on the assignment. theres also a website i use to put my own writing on and have fun with books its called goodreads.com thousands of ppl can read ur writing and give u input its very helpfull
Grammar and Spelling mistakes?
Can someone check this and make sure it sounds good and dosent have any grammar or spelling mistakes...or if there is anything I can put to make it better. Thanks. Peace.
My Dad
The resemblance is obvious all over the bottom half of my face. My father sat beside me at my sister’s wedding reception and everyone kept telling us how much we looked alike. I never would have thought I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him, but now that I have meet him it feels right it feels like this is how it should have always been.
When I was young my mother would tell me “First God gave me Laura, (my older sister) and then you. Then God gave me a husband and two more little blessings” I didn’t really comprehend what she had meant until I was a little older. I didn’t have the same father as my siblings, finally I had understood but still I was confused. Who then was my father? Where was he? Why hadn’t he been around? I had so many questions and no courage to ask them, besides my mother didn’t like to talk about it. When she did mention him though it would trigger curious excitement inside of me, I wanted to hear as much as she could tell me about him. What was his name, what did he look like, where we the same at all? What I did find out was that he was Hispanic and came from a large family. After that I started checking the box that said “other” on ethnicity because I was half Hispanic and very proud to be so. It made me feel different in a good way. I was different from my siblings and when someone would comment on the fact that I looked nothing like any of them I would smile. No we don’t, I’d think, because I have a different dad.
The day after my cousin’s graduation (when I was seventeen) I received a phone call. I didn’t recognize the name on the caller ID but when I looked at it a strange feeling flooded my stomach. Somehow I had known that something life changing was on the other end, cautiously I answered.
“Hello?” My voice was shaky and weak.
“Hi,” a girl said, “I’m looking for Sandy.”
At first I was confused; no one had called me that since I was little. “Well I’m Sandra,” I said, “Who’s this?”
“Hi Sandra, this is Angela, I guess I’d be your step sister. Your dad told me to call you.”
At this moment I stood up and started walking into the hallway. My mother was beside me and I guess something in my face made her follow me. Who is it? she mouthed to me urgently.
“Your dad wants to meet you.” she said simply like she could snap her fingers and make it happen. I didn’t say anything back to her, I was too shocked. Instead my mother took the phone away from me and demanded to know who was on the other end.
“Well if he wants to meet her, he needs to call her himself.” My mother wailed into the phone before hanging up.
About two minutes later the phone rang. My mother forbade me to follow her as she went outside to talk to my father, the man I’d wanted to meet my whole life whose blood was running through my veins and I wasn’t even allowed to hear what his voice sounded like. I watched her through the living room window as she paced back and fourth across the lawn. It was clear that she was mad and I couldn’t understand why. When she finally came back in the house I begged to know what had been said. All she told me was that my father wanted to meet me, what I had already known. I was overjoyed that he wanted to meet me and I was ready to see him at that very moment.
Three years after that I still hadn’t met him. My stepfather had been enraged at the very idea of it and my mother and I were terrified to upset him. What would happen if I met my biological father, they’d fight, I’d be looked down upon by my siblings, everyone would think I was trying to break up the family? So for years I did nothing, even after I tuned eighteen and my mother gave me his phone number. “You’re an adult now; you can do what you want.” I wanted to meet him more than anything I had ever wanted in my entire life, but I didn’t want to upset anybody.
Throughout those three years I thought about him a lot probably more than I had thought about him all the years before because he had become real to me. Finally I had a name and evidence that my father, my real father was out there somewhere. I was fulfilled in one way because I knew he wanted to meet me and that had been one of the vital questions, but still I hadn’t met him and I was tired of being afraid. What did it really matter if I upset anyone, my mother was getting a divorce, and my siblings could deal with it right? So we talked it over and decided to look him up. We found his mothers address and phone number on the internet (thank goodness she hadn’t moved over the years) and called her about a week before Thanksgiving. They were real, his family, my family, my grandmother and I was getting closer and closer. It took several days and wrong numbers but I finally got his cell phone number.
Still afraid of how my siblGrammar and Spelling mistakes?
if this is an essay then change every ';what's'; to what is.. and every ';it's'; to it is. because those arent suppose to be in formal writing such as essays.Grammar and Spelling mistakes?
';I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him';
?
Check for commas.
I really don't think that you have any spelling or grammar mistakes. Good luck. answer mine?
http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind…
Just cut and paste the corrected version I did; minor puncuation and spelling errors , but the story is cut off at the end.....
The resemblance is obvious all over the bottom half of my face. My father sat beside me at my sister’s wedding reception and everyone kept telling us how much we looked alike. I never would have thought I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him, but now that I have met him it feels right it feels like this is how it should have always been.
When I was young, my mother would tell me: “First God gave me Laura, (my older sister) and then you. Then God gave me a husband and two more little blessings” I didn’t really comprehend what she had meant until I was a little older. I didn’t have the same father as my siblings. Finally I had understood but still I was confused. Who then was my father? Where was he? Why hadn’t he been around? I had so many questions and no courage to ask them; my mother didn’t like to talk about it. When she did mention him though, it would trigger curious excitement inside of me, I wanted to hear as much as she could tell me about him. What was his name, what did he look like, where we the same at all? What I did find out was that he was Hispanic and came from a large family. After that, I started checking the box that said “other” on ethnicity because I was half Hispanic and very proud to be so. It made me feel different in a good way. I was different from my siblings, and when someone would comment on the fact that I looked nothing like any of them, I would smile. No we don’t, I’d think, because I have a different dad.
The day after my cousin’s graduation (when I was seventeen) I received a phone call. I didn’t recognize the name on the caller ID, but when I looked at it a strange feeling flooded my stomach. Somehow, I had known that something life changing was on the other end Cautiously, I answered.
“Hello?” My voice was shaky and weak.
“Hi,” a girl said, “I’m looking for Sandy.”
At first, I was confused; no one had called me that since I was little. “Well, I’m Sandra,” I said, “Who’s this?”
“Hi Sandra, this is Angela, I guess I’d be your step sister. Your dad told me to call you.”
At this moment, I stood up and started walking into the hallway. My mother was beside me and I guess something in my face made her follow me. Who is it? she mouthed to me urgently.
“Your dad wants to meet you.” she said simply, like she could snap her fingers and make it happen. I didn’t say anything back to her; I was too shocked. Instead, my mother took the phone away from me and demanded to know who was on the other end.
“Well if he wants to meet her, he needs to call her himself.” My mother wailed into the phone before hanging up.
About two minutes later, the phone rang. My mother forbade me to follow her as she went outside to talk to my father, the man I’d wanted to meet my whole life, whose blood was running through my veins and I wasn’t even allowed to hear what his voice sounded like. I watched her through the living room window as she paced back and fourth across the lawn. It was clear that she was mad and I couldn’t understand why. When she finally came back in the house, I begged to know what had been said. All she told me was that my father wanted to meet me, something I had already known. I was overjoyed that he wanted to meet me, and I was ready to see him at that very moment.
Three years after that, I still hadn’t met him. My stepfather had been enraged at the very idea of it, and my mother and I were terrified to upset him. What would happen if I met my biological father, they’d fight, I’d be looked down upon by my siblings, everyone would think I was trying to break up the family? So for years I did nothing, even after I turned eighteen and my mother gave me his phone number. “You’re an adult now; you can do what you want.” I wanted to meet him more than anything I had ever wanted in my entire life, but I didn’t want to upset anybody.
Throughout those three years I thought about him a lot probably more than I had thought about him all the years before because he had become real to me. Finally I had a name and evidence that my father, my real father was out there somewhere. I was fulfilled in one way because I knew he wanted to meet me and that had been one of the vital questions, but still I hadn’t met him and I was tired of being afraid. What did it really matter if I upset anyone, my mother was getting a divorce, and my siblings could deal with it right? So we talked it over and decided to look him up. We found his mother's address and phone number on the internet (thank goodness she hadn’t moved over the years) and called her about a week before Thanksgiving. They were real, his family, my family, my grandmother and I was getting closer and closer. It took several days and wrong numbers but I finally got his cell phone number.
Still afraid of how my sibl
My Dad
The resemblance is obvious all over the bottom half of my face. My father sat beside me at my sister’s wedding reception and everyone kept telling us how much we looked alike. I never would have thought I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him, but now that I have meet him it feels right it feels like this is how it should have always been.
When I was young my mother would tell me “First God gave me Laura, (my older sister) and then you. Then God gave me a husband and two more little blessings” I didn’t really comprehend what she had meant until I was a little older. I didn’t have the same father as my siblings, finally I had understood but still I was confused. Who then was my father? Where was he? Why hadn’t he been around? I had so many questions and no courage to ask them, besides my mother didn’t like to talk about it. When she did mention him though it would trigger curious excitement inside of me, I wanted to hear as much as she could tell me about him. What was his name, what did he look like, where we the same at all? What I did find out was that he was Hispanic and came from a large family. After that I started checking the box that said “other” on ethnicity because I was half Hispanic and very proud to be so. It made me feel different in a good way. I was different from my siblings and when someone would comment on the fact that I looked nothing like any of them I would smile. No we don’t, I’d think, because I have a different dad.
The day after my cousin’s graduation (when I was seventeen) I received a phone call. I didn’t recognize the name on the caller ID but when I looked at it a strange feeling flooded my stomach. Somehow I had known that something life changing was on the other end, cautiously I answered.
“Hello?” My voice was shaky and weak.
“Hi,” a girl said, “I’m looking for Sandy.”
At first I was confused; no one had called me that since I was little. “Well I’m Sandra,” I said, “Who’s this?”
“Hi Sandra, this is Angela, I guess I’d be your step sister. Your dad told me to call you.”
At this moment I stood up and started walking into the hallway. My mother was beside me and I guess something in my face made her follow me. Who is it? she mouthed to me urgently.
“Your dad wants to meet you.” she said simply like she could snap her fingers and make it happen. I didn’t say anything back to her, I was too shocked. Instead my mother took the phone away from me and demanded to know who was on the other end.
“Well if he wants to meet her, he needs to call her himself.” My mother wailed into the phone before hanging up.
About two minutes later the phone rang. My mother forbade me to follow her as she went outside to talk to my father, the man I’d wanted to meet my whole life whose blood was running through my veins and I wasn’t even allowed to hear what his voice sounded like. I watched her through the living room window as she paced back and fourth across the lawn. It was clear that she was mad and I couldn’t understand why. When she finally came back in the house I begged to know what had been said. All she told me was that my father wanted to meet me, what I had already known. I was overjoyed that he wanted to meet me and I was ready to see him at that very moment.
Three years after that I still hadn’t met him. My stepfather had been enraged at the very idea of it and my mother and I were terrified to upset him. What would happen if I met my biological father, they’d fight, I’d be looked down upon by my siblings, everyone would think I was trying to break up the family? So for years I did nothing, even after I tuned eighteen and my mother gave me his phone number. “You’re an adult now; you can do what you want.” I wanted to meet him more than anything I had ever wanted in my entire life, but I didn’t want to upset anybody.
Throughout those three years I thought about him a lot probably more than I had thought about him all the years before because he had become real to me. Finally I had a name and evidence that my father, my real father was out there somewhere. I was fulfilled in one way because I knew he wanted to meet me and that had been one of the vital questions, but still I hadn’t met him and I was tired of being afraid. What did it really matter if I upset anyone, my mother was getting a divorce, and my siblings could deal with it right? So we talked it over and decided to look him up. We found his mothers address and phone number on the internet (thank goodness she hadn’t moved over the years) and called her about a week before Thanksgiving. They were real, his family, my family, my grandmother and I was getting closer and closer. It took several days and wrong numbers but I finally got his cell phone number.
Still afraid of how my siblGrammar and Spelling mistakes?
if this is an essay then change every ';what's'; to what is.. and every ';it's'; to it is. because those arent suppose to be in formal writing such as essays.Grammar and Spelling mistakes?
';I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him';
?
Check for commas.
I really don't think that you have any spelling or grammar mistakes. Good luck. answer mine?
http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind…
Just cut and paste the corrected version I did; minor puncuation and spelling errors , but the story is cut off at the end.....
The resemblance is obvious all over the bottom half of my face. My father sat beside me at my sister’s wedding reception and everyone kept telling us how much we looked alike. I never would have thought I’d have the chance to meet him much less get to spend so much time with him, but now that I have met him it feels right it feels like this is how it should have always been.
When I was young, my mother would tell me: “First God gave me Laura, (my older sister) and then you. Then God gave me a husband and two more little blessings” I didn’t really comprehend what she had meant until I was a little older. I didn’t have the same father as my siblings. Finally I had understood but still I was confused. Who then was my father? Where was he? Why hadn’t he been around? I had so many questions and no courage to ask them; my mother didn’t like to talk about it. When she did mention him though, it would trigger curious excitement inside of me, I wanted to hear as much as she could tell me about him. What was his name, what did he look like, where we the same at all? What I did find out was that he was Hispanic and came from a large family. After that, I started checking the box that said “other” on ethnicity because I was half Hispanic and very proud to be so. It made me feel different in a good way. I was different from my siblings, and when someone would comment on the fact that I looked nothing like any of them, I would smile. No we don’t, I’d think, because I have a different dad.
The day after my cousin’s graduation (when I was seventeen) I received a phone call. I didn’t recognize the name on the caller ID, but when I looked at it a strange feeling flooded my stomach. Somehow, I had known that something life changing was on the other end Cautiously, I answered.
“Hello?” My voice was shaky and weak.
“Hi,” a girl said, “I’m looking for Sandy.”
At first, I was confused; no one had called me that since I was little. “Well, I’m Sandra,” I said, “Who’s this?”
“Hi Sandra, this is Angela, I guess I’d be your step sister. Your dad told me to call you.”
At this moment, I stood up and started walking into the hallway. My mother was beside me and I guess something in my face made her follow me. Who is it? she mouthed to me urgently.
“Your dad wants to meet you.” she said simply, like she could snap her fingers and make it happen. I didn’t say anything back to her; I was too shocked. Instead, my mother took the phone away from me and demanded to know who was on the other end.
“Well if he wants to meet her, he needs to call her himself.” My mother wailed into the phone before hanging up.
About two minutes later, the phone rang. My mother forbade me to follow her as she went outside to talk to my father, the man I’d wanted to meet my whole life, whose blood was running through my veins and I wasn’t even allowed to hear what his voice sounded like. I watched her through the living room window as she paced back and fourth across the lawn. It was clear that she was mad and I couldn’t understand why. When she finally came back in the house, I begged to know what had been said. All she told me was that my father wanted to meet me, something I had already known. I was overjoyed that he wanted to meet me, and I was ready to see him at that very moment.
Three years after that, I still hadn’t met him. My stepfather had been enraged at the very idea of it, and my mother and I were terrified to upset him. What would happen if I met my biological father, they’d fight, I’d be looked down upon by my siblings, everyone would think I was trying to break up the family? So for years I did nothing, even after I turned eighteen and my mother gave me his phone number. “You’re an adult now; you can do what you want.” I wanted to meet him more than anything I had ever wanted in my entire life, but I didn’t want to upset anybody.
Throughout those three years I thought about him a lot probably more than I had thought about him all the years before because he had become real to me. Finally I had a name and evidence that my father, my real father was out there somewhere. I was fulfilled in one way because I knew he wanted to meet me and that had been one of the vital questions, but still I hadn’t met him and I was tired of being afraid. What did it really matter if I upset anyone, my mother was getting a divorce, and my siblings could deal with it right? So we talked it over and decided to look him up. We found his mother's address and phone number on the internet (thank goodness she hadn’t moved over the years) and called her about a week before Thanksgiving. They were real, his family, my family, my grandmother and I was getting closer and closer. It took several days and wrong numbers but I finally got his cell phone number.
Still afraid of how my sibl
Do you think that I wrote this scene well?
The scene takes place way into the book, so you're going to be a little confused. Sorry about that. Basically my main character is being dragged of to jail. A huge fight scene occurs before this.
I don't know, this scene was just difficult to write. Well, that's not true. It actually came very naturally but I'm not sure that I captured the right tone. What do you think? Please give me your feedback, this a very important scene.
Oh, and I apalogize if there are any spelling or grammar errors. I'm not perfect and neither is spell check. And I haven't had my mom edit this part yet :)
Scene
She grabbed my hand and began pulling me back in the direction of the forest.
We did it! The thought flashed bright and triumphant in my mind. We’re going to get away! The hope fueled my strength just as the anger had.
And then something grabbed my ankle and I plummeted downward. “Holly!” I shrieked. Holly spun and grabbed my hand, holding tightly onto hit, trying to drag me towards her. But the vampire was too strong and he was holding both of my ankles, rather than just one of my sweaty hands, and he pulled me back towards him. And then his partner joined him and I knew that there was no hope. The strength drained from me faster than a shooting star streaking across the night sky.
My eyes met Holly’s and I knew that she saw something in them. Her eyes widened in panic and tears began to stream from them. “No! Lily, please don’t.”
She dug her finger nails into the back of my hand and gave a mighty tug. But it made no difference. Her hair stuck to her cheeks that were coated with sweat and tears and smears of blood. Whether the blood was mine or hers I knew not.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and let my hand slip out of hers.
Her scream of shock and rage and betrayal was more painful than anything I had ever felt. It cut me like a knife. It burned me like fire. I buried my head into my chest as the vampire scooped me up and threw me into the back of the metal thing.
“Say goodbye to your little friend, witch,” the vampire hissed, his eyes glinting in the semi darkness. I dragged myself across the icy metal floor and put my face as close to his as I dared.
“Don’t you dare hurt her,” I growled. The vampire laughed. The moment he stopped his face grew grave and his eyes seemed to glaze over.
“We don’t hurt the innocent,” he said. “She has no blood on her hands.”
I pulled myself into the corner and watched as the beam of light grew smaller as the door swung shut. I heard the cold laughter of the vampires, heard the screams of triumph from the crowd, and heard something else. A scream that came from Holly’s throat. She was screaming my name.
“No! Lily, no! Please! Please, don’t give up!” Her screams grew louder and increasingly frantic as the beam of light grew smaller. “NO! LILY! LILY! FIGHT! FIGHT, DAMN IT! LILY!”
The last thing I saw was a flash of her face before the door closed and I was plummeted into complete darkness. I buried my face into my knees and let the hot tears stream down my face. They were taking me away, taking me to a place what I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. Including Holly.
I could still hear her muffled screams even with the door shut. I drew myself close to the door and pressed my ear and palm against it, imagining that my palm was touching hers. I squeezed my fist together, imagining that my fingers were knotting around hers.
“I’m so sorry, Holly,” I whispered, knowing that there was no way that she would hear me. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.” There was a loud boom and the wall that I was leaning against shook violently. Holly had thrown herself against the door in a desperate attempt to break it down.
“NO!” I screamed, pounding on the door with my fists. “STOP IT, HOLLY! STOP IT! YOU’LL HURT YOURSELF!”
“Lily!” she gasped and pounded on the door back to me. “Lily, I’m coming for you, I promise.”
“No, Holly, don’t!”
“I am! I’m coming, I promise.”
“Don’t!” I shouted. “Please, don’t!”
“Lily, I love you! I’m not going to let them take you away from me!”
“No! If you really love me you’ll let them take me. Promise me that you won’t come.”
There was silence on the other side.
“Promise!”
“I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I sobbed loudly and leaned against the wall too.
“I love you too, Holly,” I whispered. I couldn’t hear anything but Holly’s sobs. There was a soft bumping sound as something small pressed against the metal wall separating us. Her hand. I closed my eyes and pressed my palm to where the sound had come from, to where hers was. I imagined that I could feel her soft skin against mine; that I could curl my fingers down to lock them with hers.
The metal cart gave a shutter and I could feel it roll forward. Holly’s sobs ceased and I could hear her screaming again.
Something occurred to me in the moments before I passed out cold on the floor of the cart that was dragging me away. That wDo you think that I wrote this scene well?
that was intense!
i have a few suggestions:
when you say ';hot tears,'; i imagine like...something other than what i think you're trying to convey. maybe just say tears, or even ';burning'; tears.. something along those line.
and when it says: “I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I sobbed loudly and leaned against the wall too.
I think you should say something like...:
“I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I too sobbed and leaned toward the wall....and then go on to say why... something like: for i knew our future would never be the same. or something (i'm no writer!)
and the last thing:
I couldn’t hear anything but Holly’s sobs.
i think it would sound better if you said:
I could hear nothing but Holly's sobs.
hope it helped a bit (:
i really liked the scene, too!
edit:
p.s. i would love to see the finished product (:Do you think that I wrote this scene well?
hmm, seems like there's a too much excess that you don't need and throw in more detail (e.g. ';metal thing';) however, i really thought it was interesting and i'd love to read something like this! are lily and holly actually in love or is it friend love? if they are in love i want to know more about it! i've never been able to find a book like that yet! don't stop writing!
I thought it was really good! I love your descriptions. I don't think it's excess. I actually like the detail.
I don't know if I've said this before, but I'm definitely seeing some Stephenie Meyer influence here. You have a great writing style, and I really think you did a good job with this scene. The only thing is that you SHOULD probably give a more specific description of ';the metal thing';.
Happy writing, and good luck with your book :)
Livvy
I don't know, this scene was just difficult to write. Well, that's not true. It actually came very naturally but I'm not sure that I captured the right tone. What do you think? Please give me your feedback, this a very important scene.
Oh, and I apalogize if there are any spelling or grammar errors. I'm not perfect and neither is spell check. And I haven't had my mom edit this part yet :)
Scene
She grabbed my hand and began pulling me back in the direction of the forest.
We did it! The thought flashed bright and triumphant in my mind. We’re going to get away! The hope fueled my strength just as the anger had.
And then something grabbed my ankle and I plummeted downward. “Holly!” I shrieked. Holly spun and grabbed my hand, holding tightly onto hit, trying to drag me towards her. But the vampire was too strong and he was holding both of my ankles, rather than just one of my sweaty hands, and he pulled me back towards him. And then his partner joined him and I knew that there was no hope. The strength drained from me faster than a shooting star streaking across the night sky.
My eyes met Holly’s and I knew that she saw something in them. Her eyes widened in panic and tears began to stream from them. “No! Lily, please don’t.”
She dug her finger nails into the back of my hand and gave a mighty tug. But it made no difference. Her hair stuck to her cheeks that were coated with sweat and tears and smears of blood. Whether the blood was mine or hers I knew not.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered and let my hand slip out of hers.
Her scream of shock and rage and betrayal was more painful than anything I had ever felt. It cut me like a knife. It burned me like fire. I buried my head into my chest as the vampire scooped me up and threw me into the back of the metal thing.
“Say goodbye to your little friend, witch,” the vampire hissed, his eyes glinting in the semi darkness. I dragged myself across the icy metal floor and put my face as close to his as I dared.
“Don’t you dare hurt her,” I growled. The vampire laughed. The moment he stopped his face grew grave and his eyes seemed to glaze over.
“We don’t hurt the innocent,” he said. “She has no blood on her hands.”
I pulled myself into the corner and watched as the beam of light grew smaller as the door swung shut. I heard the cold laughter of the vampires, heard the screams of triumph from the crowd, and heard something else. A scream that came from Holly’s throat. She was screaming my name.
“No! Lily, no! Please! Please, don’t give up!” Her screams grew louder and increasingly frantic as the beam of light grew smaller. “NO! LILY! LILY! FIGHT! FIGHT, DAMN IT! LILY!”
The last thing I saw was a flash of her face before the door closed and I was plummeted into complete darkness. I buried my face into my knees and let the hot tears stream down my face. They were taking me away, taking me to a place what I couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. Including Holly.
I could still hear her muffled screams even with the door shut. I drew myself close to the door and pressed my ear and palm against it, imagining that my palm was touching hers. I squeezed my fist together, imagining that my fingers were knotting around hers.
“I’m so sorry, Holly,” I whispered, knowing that there was no way that she would hear me. “You’ll never know how sorry I am.” There was a loud boom and the wall that I was leaning against shook violently. Holly had thrown herself against the door in a desperate attempt to break it down.
“NO!” I screamed, pounding on the door with my fists. “STOP IT, HOLLY! STOP IT! YOU’LL HURT YOURSELF!”
“Lily!” she gasped and pounded on the door back to me. “Lily, I’m coming for you, I promise.”
“No, Holly, don’t!”
“I am! I’m coming, I promise.”
“Don’t!” I shouted. “Please, don’t!”
“Lily, I love you! I’m not going to let them take you away from me!”
“No! If you really love me you’ll let them take me. Promise me that you won’t come.”
There was silence on the other side.
“Promise!”
“I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I sobbed loudly and leaned against the wall too.
“I love you too, Holly,” I whispered. I couldn’t hear anything but Holly’s sobs. There was a soft bumping sound as something small pressed against the metal wall separating us. Her hand. I closed my eyes and pressed my palm to where the sound had come from, to where hers was. I imagined that I could feel her soft skin against mine; that I could curl my fingers down to lock them with hers.
The metal cart gave a shutter and I could feel it roll forward. Holly’s sobs ceased and I could hear her screaming again.
Something occurred to me in the moments before I passed out cold on the floor of the cart that was dragging me away. That wDo you think that I wrote this scene well?
that was intense!
i have a few suggestions:
when you say ';hot tears,'; i imagine like...something other than what i think you're trying to convey. maybe just say tears, or even ';burning'; tears.. something along those line.
and when it says: “I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I sobbed loudly and leaned against the wall too.
I think you should say something like...:
“I promise.” Holly’s voice was thick with tears. I heard her sob and lean against the wall. I too sobbed and leaned toward the wall....and then go on to say why... something like: for i knew our future would never be the same. or something (i'm no writer!)
and the last thing:
I couldn’t hear anything but Holly’s sobs.
i think it would sound better if you said:
I could hear nothing but Holly's sobs.
hope it helped a bit (:
i really liked the scene, too!
edit:
p.s. i would love to see the finished product (:Do you think that I wrote this scene well?
hmm, seems like there's a too much excess that you don't need and throw in more detail (e.g. ';metal thing';) however, i really thought it was interesting and i'd love to read something like this! are lily and holly actually in love or is it friend love? if they are in love i want to know more about it! i've never been able to find a book like that yet! don't stop writing!
I thought it was really good! I love your descriptions. I don't think it's excess. I actually like the detail.
I don't know if I've said this before, but I'm definitely seeing some Stephenie Meyer influence here. You have a great writing style, and I really think you did a good job with this scene. The only thing is that you SHOULD probably give a more specific description of ';the metal thing';.
Happy writing, and good luck with your book :)
Livvy
How is this for the beginning of a story?
A sea of dark curls flow as I release the red cap from my head. Staring back at me in the mirror is a girl with porcelain skin, deep brown eyes, and thick curls formulating her eerie face. That girl isn't me. She couldn't be me. I never thought of her as me. The way her beauty looked back at me like a bullet just waiting to be loaded. So I kept staring. Waiting for the girl to come out. Waiting for her to kill me in an instant. But she wouldn't. She just stared back at me.
I stand in my dark bedroom trying to figuring something out. The grayness from outside my bedroom windows penetrates my bedroom, bringing in a depressing glow. My fingers is on the white Victorian dresser, tapping it excessively. I tap when I'm nervous. It drives people crazy, but I don't care. It's my coping mechanism. Especially since I won't be living in Kansas anymore. I'm going to be moving to some school in the Upper East called Preston.
When I first got the news that I was moving to Preston I wanted to scream. Not in a girly way that indicate you're happy. But in a way that makes your skin crawl and your blood curdle. Preston was not a school I wanted to go to. I heard about it at my old school Smithdale High. Abbey Gray told me it's a death sentence. I believe her. I've read reviews about the school online and most of them haven't been good. The school has a ten out of ten rating thanks to the state of New York, but people who are smart knows it's bad. People like me. Just looking at the tall school encrusted with stones and vines made u stomach lurch. The windows staring at me like eyes and the door jutting open like a mouth. It was waiting for me to come inside. And I was going to have to deal with it.
I turn back to the girl in the mirror and look at her once more. Her expression is emotionless and her eyes are wordless. I feel a cold shiver go down my spine as I touch the reflection. The glass is cold against my pale fingers and the surface of the mirror is hard as a rock. The girl does the same thing as I do. Her perfect fingers tracing the glass, her deep brown eyes still looking lifeless. There was something about her that wasn't happy. Sadness and emptiness tided her precious face. She was like a ghost. A ghost who was waiting to be properly buried knowing that it wasn't ever going to be buried properly.
';Juliet!'; I suddenly hear my mother call. ';Get your things and be ready! You're gonna miss the train.';
Oh, yeah. I had to take the train to New York. How old fashion. It makes me think of those old time movies where you have to ride on a train to get to a destination. I was actually looking forward to riding the train. I hadn't ridden on one before. The only time I saw a train was in the Harry Potter movies. I'm from Kansas so you don't see a lot of trains. Just vast openings and the sky that seems to touch the ground. I love Kansas. Kansas is my home and a place where I feel most comfortable with. I even love school. I get along more with the teachers because I'm smarter than the average student. I have an usually high GPA that will stump Ivy League students. That's why my parents decided to enroll me at Preston. They felt that Smithdale was holding me back. If anything, Preston might hold me back. I don't know anyone at that school and I don't plan on it. I just want to sit in Mrs. Spelling's AP Literature class and take notes. Spelling isn't her real name, she just said it is to make her teaching job ironic. Her real last name is Abraham. I can see why she would want to change it.
I like Mrs. Spelling. She's an older woman about in her early sixties. You would think she would be retired by now, but she's not. Unlike most teachers, she actually likes her job. Since all my grandparents are dead, I see her as my grandma. She's a cute old lady with gray hair and pale skin. She's pretty short. About five-two. I sometimes have to walk her to her classes just so she wouldn't trip. Surprisingly she has early onset Alzheimer's. You would think they would fire her or something, but she's still working. And that's why I admire her. I'm planning on being a teacher when I grow up. Helping out the little kids and trouble teenagers as if they were my own. That was my dream job. Every time I would tell a fellow classmate about it, they would just laugh. Most of the students are either dumb or have some sort of disability. My best friend Megan is dyslexic, so I have to tutor her in English everyday. I don't mind it thought because it gives me a head start on teaching.
I'm going to miss Megan the most. She's tall, has long red hair, and piercing blue eyes. Every guy thinks she's hot. Which she is. You have to be blind to not think she's beautiful. I wish I was as beautiful as her. Then I would have more friends and a boyfriend.
I'm a littHow is this for the beginning of a story?
I freaking love it!!!! I really want to read the whole story! Is there a way i can? Just email me or whatever haha. But WOW its such a great starting. And i think you have a great talent in writing! :)
I stand in my dark bedroom trying to figuring something out. The grayness from outside my bedroom windows penetrates my bedroom, bringing in a depressing glow. My fingers is on the white Victorian dresser, tapping it excessively. I tap when I'm nervous. It drives people crazy, but I don't care. It's my coping mechanism. Especially since I won't be living in Kansas anymore. I'm going to be moving to some school in the Upper East called Preston.
When I first got the news that I was moving to Preston I wanted to scream. Not in a girly way that indicate you're happy. But in a way that makes your skin crawl and your blood curdle. Preston was not a school I wanted to go to. I heard about it at my old school Smithdale High. Abbey Gray told me it's a death sentence. I believe her. I've read reviews about the school online and most of them haven't been good. The school has a ten out of ten rating thanks to the state of New York, but people who are smart knows it's bad. People like me. Just looking at the tall school encrusted with stones and vines made u stomach lurch. The windows staring at me like eyes and the door jutting open like a mouth. It was waiting for me to come inside. And I was going to have to deal with it.
I turn back to the girl in the mirror and look at her once more. Her expression is emotionless and her eyes are wordless. I feel a cold shiver go down my spine as I touch the reflection. The glass is cold against my pale fingers and the surface of the mirror is hard as a rock. The girl does the same thing as I do. Her perfect fingers tracing the glass, her deep brown eyes still looking lifeless. There was something about her that wasn't happy. Sadness and emptiness tided her precious face. She was like a ghost. A ghost who was waiting to be properly buried knowing that it wasn't ever going to be buried properly.
';Juliet!'; I suddenly hear my mother call. ';Get your things and be ready! You're gonna miss the train.';
Oh, yeah. I had to take the train to New York. How old fashion. It makes me think of those old time movies where you have to ride on a train to get to a destination. I was actually looking forward to riding the train. I hadn't ridden on one before. The only time I saw a train was in the Harry Potter movies. I'm from Kansas so you don't see a lot of trains. Just vast openings and the sky that seems to touch the ground. I love Kansas. Kansas is my home and a place where I feel most comfortable with. I even love school. I get along more with the teachers because I'm smarter than the average student. I have an usually high GPA that will stump Ivy League students. That's why my parents decided to enroll me at Preston. They felt that Smithdale was holding me back. If anything, Preston might hold me back. I don't know anyone at that school and I don't plan on it. I just want to sit in Mrs. Spelling's AP Literature class and take notes. Spelling isn't her real name, she just said it is to make her teaching job ironic. Her real last name is Abraham. I can see why she would want to change it.
I like Mrs. Spelling. She's an older woman about in her early sixties. You would think she would be retired by now, but she's not. Unlike most teachers, she actually likes her job. Since all my grandparents are dead, I see her as my grandma. She's a cute old lady with gray hair and pale skin. She's pretty short. About five-two. I sometimes have to walk her to her classes just so she wouldn't trip. Surprisingly she has early onset Alzheimer's. You would think they would fire her or something, but she's still working. And that's why I admire her. I'm planning on being a teacher when I grow up. Helping out the little kids and trouble teenagers as if they were my own. That was my dream job. Every time I would tell a fellow classmate about it, they would just laugh. Most of the students are either dumb or have some sort of disability. My best friend Megan is dyslexic, so I have to tutor her in English everyday. I don't mind it thought because it gives me a head start on teaching.
I'm going to miss Megan the most. She's tall, has long red hair, and piercing blue eyes. Every guy thinks she's hot. Which she is. You have to be blind to not think she's beautiful. I wish I was as beautiful as her. Then I would have more friends and a boyfriend.
I'm a littHow is this for the beginning of a story?
I freaking love it!!!! I really want to read the whole story! Is there a way i can? Just email me or whatever haha. But WOW its such a great starting. And i think you have a great talent in writing! :)
Kentuck Wildcat fans. In two days your are going to get to meet Mr. Glen Dorsey. Do you know how badass he is
HOW BAD IS GLENN DORSEY ?
Glenn Dorsey visited the Virgin Islands , now they're just called ';The Islands.';
Glenn Dorsey grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Dorsey invented giraffes by uppercutting horses.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Glenn Dorsey lives in Baton Rouge .
Glenn Dorsey's poo smells like Armani Aqua de Gio.
When GD is around, jet planes do not need fuel. Dorsey simply picks them up with his index finger and throws them to their destination.
Glenn Dorsey's tears cure cancer. Unfortunately it is impossible to make him cry.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Glenn Dorsey has allowed to live.
When Glenn Dorsey speaks, everybody listens.
And then dies...
If you spell ';Glenn Dorsey'; in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Glenn Dorsey completes a sudoku puzzle in each huddle.
Every time Glenn Dorsey makes a quarterback cry, an angel gets its wings.
Glenn Dorsey's Helment wears Glenn Dorsey for protection!!!
Glenn Dorsey sees dead people...and kills them again.
Chuck Norris played @$$ kickers in movies and TV shows before challenging Glenn Dorsey. Now he's only capable of making bad infomercials.
The popular videogame ';Doom'; is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Dorsey and forgot to pay him back.
If you were to lock Dorsey in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Dorsey replied ';Because Grammy's are for queers.'; Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Dorsey once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Saban won with Glenn Dorsey's players.
Dorsey once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
When taking the SAT, write ';Dorsey'; for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Katrina didn't hurt New Orleans....Glenn Dorsey farted..........
Out of the world's ten ';badest bad asses';, Glenn Dorsey receives Christmas presents from nine of them.
Dorsey once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ';Who has more testicles?'; contest. Dorsey won by 5.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Dorsey has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Four words you will never hear Glenn Dorsey say: ';Don't taser me, bro.';.
Glenn Dorsey CAN believe it's not butter!
If you Google search ';Dorsey getting his butt kicked'; you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Glenn Dorsey was Luke's father
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Glenn Dorsey.
Tebow had to ask Glenn Dorsey permission to kiss his Boyfriend.
Glenn Dorsey wrote an amazing book called ';A Brief History of Time'; but Stephen Hawking stole the rough draft and sold 9 million copies of it with his name on it... Yeah... We all saw what happened to him.Kentuck Wildcat fans. In two days your are going to get to meet Mr. Glen Dorsey. Do you know how badass he is
hurricane- did you really just say that Glen Dorsey was over rated and got dominated by a freshman O-line? HA HA HA! Did you not watch the Florida game or are you totally void of any semblance of football knowledge? Double and triple teamed every single play, he still caused mass chaos for the offensive line. He pushed 300 lb men around like they were 12 girls. How stupid are you??Kentuck Wildcat fans. In two days your are going to get to meet Mr. Glen Dorsey. Do you know how badass he is
In Lexington they're still whining about that Gamecock **** whoopin.
Dorsey is good but overrated........he was pretty much controlled by a frosh OL vs. UF
For the previous answers before mine... If Glenn Dorsey is such a dumba$$, and is controlled so easily by a young OL, why do PROFESSIONAL sports analysts at ESPN and Fox Sports consider him one of the top players in the country? I think he's a raging bada$$.
Tommie Harris would slap Dorsey around like a red-headed step-child!
Dude i like LSU, but you just took every Chuck Norris joke ever made and substituted in Glenn Dorsey... Seriously though, its gonna be a great game... But i do NOT see Kentucky walkin away with this one... LSU-31 UK-24
LSUBalls. Admit it. LSU is a dim-witted school. You can't structure your paragraph. Perhaps, you are dim-witted
Go Tulane
We'll JOhn B I'm glad yoyu got to watch atleast one half of football this year(LSU vs Tulane) where your school played like it was their damn super bowl and then fell apart. Your ignorant. Love those Tigers!!
Do you have some sort of crush on this Glen Dorsey guy? Who is this I would like to know never heard of him!
Glenn Dorsey visited the Virgin Islands , now they're just called ';The Islands.';
Glenn Dorsey grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Dorsey invented giraffes by uppercutting horses.
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Glenn Dorsey lives in Baton Rouge .
Glenn Dorsey's poo smells like Armani Aqua de Gio.
When GD is around, jet planes do not need fuel. Dorsey simply picks them up with his index finger and throws them to their destination.
Glenn Dorsey's tears cure cancer. Unfortunately it is impossible to make him cry.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Glenn Dorsey has allowed to live.
When Glenn Dorsey speaks, everybody listens.
And then dies...
If you spell ';Glenn Dorsey'; in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Glenn Dorsey completes a sudoku puzzle in each huddle.
Every time Glenn Dorsey makes a quarterback cry, an angel gets its wings.
Glenn Dorsey's Helment wears Glenn Dorsey for protection!!!
Glenn Dorsey sees dead people...and kills them again.
Chuck Norris played @$$ kickers in movies and TV shows before challenging Glenn Dorsey. Now he's only capable of making bad infomercials.
The popular videogame ';Doom'; is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from Dorsey and forgot to pay him back.
If you were to lock Dorsey in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Dorsey replied ';Because Grammy's are for queers.'; Then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Dorsey once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Saban won with Glenn Dorsey's players.
Dorsey once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress
When taking the SAT, write ';Dorsey'; for every answer. You will score a 1600.
Katrina didn't hurt New Orleans....Glenn Dorsey farted..........
Out of the world's ten ';badest bad asses';, Glenn Dorsey receives Christmas presents from nine of them.
Dorsey once challenged Lance Armstrong in a ';Who has more testicles?'; contest. Dorsey won by 5.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Dorsey has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Four words you will never hear Glenn Dorsey say: ';Don't taser me, bro.';.
Glenn Dorsey CAN believe it's not butter!
If you Google search ';Dorsey getting his butt kicked'; you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
Glenn Dorsey was Luke's father
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Glenn Dorsey.
Tebow had to ask Glenn Dorsey permission to kiss his Boyfriend.
Glenn Dorsey wrote an amazing book called ';A Brief History of Time'; but Stephen Hawking stole the rough draft and sold 9 million copies of it with his name on it... Yeah... We all saw what happened to him.Kentuck Wildcat fans. In two days your are going to get to meet Mr. Glen Dorsey. Do you know how badass he is
hurricane- did you really just say that Glen Dorsey was over rated and got dominated by a freshman O-line? HA HA HA! Did you not watch the Florida game or are you totally void of any semblance of football knowledge? Double and triple teamed every single play, he still caused mass chaos for the offensive line. He pushed 300 lb men around like they were 12 girls. How stupid are you??Kentuck Wildcat fans. In two days your are going to get to meet Mr. Glen Dorsey. Do you know how badass he is
In Lexington they're still whining about that Gamecock **** whoopin.
Dorsey is good but overrated........he was pretty much controlled by a frosh OL vs. UF
For the previous answers before mine... If Glenn Dorsey is such a dumba$$, and is controlled so easily by a young OL, why do PROFESSIONAL sports analysts at ESPN and Fox Sports consider him one of the top players in the country? I think he's a raging bada$$.
Tommie Harris would slap Dorsey around like a red-headed step-child!
Dude i like LSU, but you just took every Chuck Norris joke ever made and substituted in Glenn Dorsey... Seriously though, its gonna be a great game... But i do NOT see Kentucky walkin away with this one... LSU-31 UK-24
LSUBalls. Admit it. LSU is a dim-witted school. You can't structure your paragraph. Perhaps, you are dim-witted
Go Tulane
We'll JOhn B I'm glad yoyu got to watch atleast one half of football this year(LSU vs Tulane) where your school played like it was their damn super bowl and then fell apart. Your ignorant. Love those Tigers!!
Do you have some sort of crush on this Glen Dorsey guy? Who is this I would like to know never heard of him!
Getting tested for diabetes this week. I have many questions and concerns. Help please.?
Hello. Thank you if you are reading my post and it would be most appreciated if you can answer a few of my concerns.
My mom is finally getting me tested for diabetes. I cried to her and told her some of my symptoms but i didn't tell her they were symptoms of Type 1 diabetes, she just assumed it was diabetes only because i told her i urinate a lot. But now i am worried that when i go to the doctors that the tests will not read that I have diabetes, when I KNOW I have Type 1 diabetes. I know i am no doctor, but i also know i am no hypochondriac.
But I find that the fasting test or the tests where you prick your finger aren't accurate. I want to take a A1C or AC1 test? (what is it called?) because it shows your sugar levels form the past 90 days and i hear it is very accurate. i want to take every test possible so they will show i have Type 1 diabetes, because if the results show i don't, then this will be the only time i get to go to a doctor and get tested.
The reason I am worried that it might not detect my diabetes, is because I've read about people who didn't get diagnosed until the third time they got tested or until they went other numerous times. Plus, I am going to a cheap, local clinic so i am worried about the equipment or the doctor's care. My mom has had a time were she had to go to a different clinic because the doctor gave her wrong results for something she got checked. But i know that if the doctor tells my mom i don't have diabetes, my mom will Just be satisfied with those results and think I exaggerated. I know for sure my diabetes is at a stage of severity.
Additionally, my mom doesn't get the difference between type 1 or 2. Well I am assuming she thinks there is Just one type of diabetes which is type 2 mostly find in obese children. I am not obese and she believes i should cut down on the sugar ever since she now believes I have diabetes, and believes this will control it and make me feel better. When in fact the diabetes I have requires me to take insulin and not Just to Control my diet.
Should i tell my doctor all my symptoms and that I am sure I have Type 1 diabetes (or will he think me a hypochondriac? Or will he get offended that I am self-diagnosing myself?) I don't know what type of an appointment my mom is going to make. Since it's a clinic, I don't want them to scam me or my mom by giving me one measly blood test that shows i have no diabetes.
I know my mom is going to tell me to fast the night before. Should i fast, no matter what tests i take because I know an AC1 or A1C test doesn't require fasting but the other tests do? Should i suggest to the doctor to give me a A 1C or AC1 test, or will he automatically give me One with no extra charge.
Will he charge extra for a urinal tests which aren't accurate but I want to see if I have ketones (i think that's how you spell it) but I don't think I do. Will the doctor supply all the test or will i have to ask him? how do fasting test work? I know I am supposed to fast, then in the morning test myself, but am i supposed to have lemonade or a sugary drink, then get tested and then continue to fast for five hours and get tested in one hour intervals? I really don't want to do that because I think it's inaccurate but then again I do think it's useful.
Will the doctor autmaticlaly ask me for my symptoms? will he explain that the junk food i apparently eat too much of is not the cause of my diabetes? Will the doctor just give me one blood test without talking to me or taking my weight or blood pressure ( i want him to take my blood pressure, my heart rate is always really high) or height. I am worried that base on what my mom makes the appointment on, the doctor will only perform what my mother requested or paid for. I am afraid I won't be able to communicate my symptoms to my doctor. I want so many test made on me but I am afraid the doctor won't perform them on me, and that my mother wouldn't want me to take them either, because they will most likely call for more appointments and money. I also want a UTI test. Should I ask my doctor why i haven't gone into some diabetic coma by now? Can you please help me? Please and Thank you. I am so sorry I sound like a hypochondriac and make my questions redundant but this might be my only chance to get tested for diabetes.Getting tested for diabetes this week. I have many questions and concerns. Help please.?
Ok, make a list of what you want to ask the doctor. S/he can decide what test is worth it and make sure you ask for an explanation if they say no to one of them. I''ll try to answer all your questions as best I can;
';But now i am worried that when i go to the doctors that the tests will not read that I have diabetes, when I KNOW I have Type 1 diabetes. ';
If you are at the severe stage you say you are, it will definitely come back positive. If you have type 1 diabetes then it is very unlikely you will test a false negative. Diabetes is characterised by high blood sugar and will show up in their testing (if you have a fasting test it won't be a finger prick but from the vein. )
But I find that the fasting test or the tests where you prick your finger aren't accurate.
It will be from the vein, ask for a A1c
';Will he charge extra for a urinal tests which aren't accurate but I want to see if I have ketones (i think that's how you spell it) but I don't think I do.'; I am not sure if they charge more but I don't think he will unless you have lost unexplained weight.
';how do fasting test work?';
You don't eat or drink anything but water for 8-12hours before the test
';am i supposed to have lemonade or a sugary drink, then get tested and then continue to fast for five hours and get tested in one hour intervals? I really don't want to do that because I think it's inaccurate but then again I do think it's useful. ';
You mean a GTT. If your doctor wants one then it will be done at the doctors office. They will give you the drink and take blood from the vein. It doesnt take 5 hours but 2 or 3. It is definitely not inaccurate.
Will the doctor automatically ask me for my symptoms?
Yes
will he explain that the junk food i apparently eat too much of is not the cause of my diabetes?
Yes, if type 1 and you ask him
';Will the doctor just give me one blood test without talking to me or taking my weight or blood pressure ( i want him to take my blood pressure, my heart rate is always really high) or height.';
Maybe, mine took blood pressure but not weight, but then all doctors are different. You can always ask.
';I am worried that base on what my mom makes the appointment on, the doctor will only perform what my mother requested or paid for. ';
I'm not familiar with how doctors appt work in US but thats not what happens here. You dont request anything before the appt.
I am afraid I won't be able to communicate my symptoms to my doctor.
Write a list
I want so many test made on me but I am afraid the doctor won't perform them on me, and that my mother wouldn't want me to take them either, because they will most likely call for more appointments and money.
They should at least take a general fasting test that tests for everything - deficiencies, white blood cell count, glucose.
I also want a UTI test.
Ask, I don't see any prob with that.
Should I ask my doctor why i haven't gone into some diabetic coma by now?
Only if you have ketones and high blood sugar.
In summary, you are paying for his/her time and can ask whatever you want of them. They are the trained experts, not you so dont feel silly asking questions. They are there to make sure you are healthy. Make sure you write everything done so you dont forget anything.Getting tested for diabetes this week. I have many questions and concerns. Help please.?
Make a list of any symptoms you have for the doctor.
You will get a finger stick and a blood draw and a urine check.
Fasting means nothing to eat 12 hours before the test.Nothing.
Ask the doctor for a HbA1c test and tell him/her you would like to be tested for a UTI- do you have symptoms of this too? Does it hurt to urinate ? Are you going often but have no urine ?
I wish you the best and hope you are well.
If you had severe type 1 you would be in hospital right now being trained in how to administer insulin injections!!! SO OK! YOU DO NOT HAVE SEVERE TYPE 1!!! get over it!
GTT is what they give pregnant ladies just so they can see them gag and heave then they can give them grief about their gag reflexes and make them do it again in a month!! that is only guaranteed to give everyone taking it a nasty headache and be bittttchy!
HbA1c is blood draw! It is usually done in a panel of other tests on blood so must fast for the other tests. It is only done by itself for quarterly checking of diagnosed diabetics. Other draw panels are done annually.
For diabetic testing they do several panels of blood draw work, urinalysis and physical exam! This is very expensive if we don't have insurance!
Get over the thought that you have TYPE 1 diabetes as most likely you do NOT! The symptoms are exactly the same for either one. And you are acting like a very very spoiled hypochondriac!
if anything, you have type 2. lose the sugar. get a glucose meter and check your blood sugar. test on the arm, it doesn't hurt. high blood sugar causes fatigue.
gee u are a long writer.....clear and simple..im not diabetic but i do know....
Fast the night before ...dont eat after 8pm....only water.........
Tell Doctor All your symptoms.....
The test is called A1C...Hemoglobin A1C to be exact....
Relax...it will be ok.
it won't be your only chance to get tested for diabetes and it takes a couple of tests at separate times to be sure
the finger prick tests show your current glucose level and that can vary a lot the A1C test will show what your average over the last 3 months was.
Don't panic the Doctor will be able to diagnose if your diabetic or not.
My mom is finally getting me tested for diabetes. I cried to her and told her some of my symptoms but i didn't tell her they were symptoms of Type 1 diabetes, she just assumed it was diabetes only because i told her i urinate a lot. But now i am worried that when i go to the doctors that the tests will not read that I have diabetes, when I KNOW I have Type 1 diabetes. I know i am no doctor, but i also know i am no hypochondriac.
But I find that the fasting test or the tests where you prick your finger aren't accurate. I want to take a A1C or AC1 test? (what is it called?) because it shows your sugar levels form the past 90 days and i hear it is very accurate. i want to take every test possible so they will show i have Type 1 diabetes, because if the results show i don't, then this will be the only time i get to go to a doctor and get tested.
The reason I am worried that it might not detect my diabetes, is because I've read about people who didn't get diagnosed until the third time they got tested or until they went other numerous times. Plus, I am going to a cheap, local clinic so i am worried about the equipment or the doctor's care. My mom has had a time were she had to go to a different clinic because the doctor gave her wrong results for something she got checked. But i know that if the doctor tells my mom i don't have diabetes, my mom will Just be satisfied with those results and think I exaggerated. I know for sure my diabetes is at a stage of severity.
Additionally, my mom doesn't get the difference between type 1 or 2. Well I am assuming she thinks there is Just one type of diabetes which is type 2 mostly find in obese children. I am not obese and she believes i should cut down on the sugar ever since she now believes I have diabetes, and believes this will control it and make me feel better. When in fact the diabetes I have requires me to take insulin and not Just to Control my diet.
Should i tell my doctor all my symptoms and that I am sure I have Type 1 diabetes (or will he think me a hypochondriac? Or will he get offended that I am self-diagnosing myself?) I don't know what type of an appointment my mom is going to make. Since it's a clinic, I don't want them to scam me or my mom by giving me one measly blood test that shows i have no diabetes.
I know my mom is going to tell me to fast the night before. Should i fast, no matter what tests i take because I know an AC1 or A1C test doesn't require fasting but the other tests do? Should i suggest to the doctor to give me a A 1C or AC1 test, or will he automatically give me One with no extra charge.
Will he charge extra for a urinal tests which aren't accurate but I want to see if I have ketones (i think that's how you spell it) but I don't think I do. Will the doctor supply all the test or will i have to ask him? how do fasting test work? I know I am supposed to fast, then in the morning test myself, but am i supposed to have lemonade or a sugary drink, then get tested and then continue to fast for five hours and get tested in one hour intervals? I really don't want to do that because I think it's inaccurate but then again I do think it's useful.
Will the doctor autmaticlaly ask me for my symptoms? will he explain that the junk food i apparently eat too much of is not the cause of my diabetes? Will the doctor just give me one blood test without talking to me or taking my weight or blood pressure ( i want him to take my blood pressure, my heart rate is always really high) or height. I am worried that base on what my mom makes the appointment on, the doctor will only perform what my mother requested or paid for. I am afraid I won't be able to communicate my symptoms to my doctor. I want so many test made on me but I am afraid the doctor won't perform them on me, and that my mother wouldn't want me to take them either, because they will most likely call for more appointments and money. I also want a UTI test. Should I ask my doctor why i haven't gone into some diabetic coma by now? Can you please help me? Please and Thank you. I am so sorry I sound like a hypochondriac and make my questions redundant but this might be my only chance to get tested for diabetes.Getting tested for diabetes this week. I have many questions and concerns. Help please.?
Ok, make a list of what you want to ask the doctor. S/he can decide what test is worth it and make sure you ask for an explanation if they say no to one of them. I''ll try to answer all your questions as best I can;
';But now i am worried that when i go to the doctors that the tests will not read that I have diabetes, when I KNOW I have Type 1 diabetes. ';
If you are at the severe stage you say you are, it will definitely come back positive. If you have type 1 diabetes then it is very unlikely you will test a false negative. Diabetes is characterised by high blood sugar and will show up in their testing (if you have a fasting test it won't be a finger prick but from the vein. )
But I find that the fasting test or the tests where you prick your finger aren't accurate.
It will be from the vein, ask for a A1c
';Will he charge extra for a urinal tests which aren't accurate but I want to see if I have ketones (i think that's how you spell it) but I don't think I do.'; I am not sure if they charge more but I don't think he will unless you have lost unexplained weight.
';how do fasting test work?';
You don't eat or drink anything but water for 8-12hours before the test
';am i supposed to have lemonade or a sugary drink, then get tested and then continue to fast for five hours and get tested in one hour intervals? I really don't want to do that because I think it's inaccurate but then again I do think it's useful. ';
You mean a GTT. If your doctor wants one then it will be done at the doctors office. They will give you the drink and take blood from the vein. It doesnt take 5 hours but 2 or 3. It is definitely not inaccurate.
Will the doctor automatically ask me for my symptoms?
Yes
will he explain that the junk food i apparently eat too much of is not the cause of my diabetes?
Yes, if type 1 and you ask him
';Will the doctor just give me one blood test without talking to me or taking my weight or blood pressure ( i want him to take my blood pressure, my heart rate is always really high) or height.';
Maybe, mine took blood pressure but not weight, but then all doctors are different. You can always ask.
';I am worried that base on what my mom makes the appointment on, the doctor will only perform what my mother requested or paid for. ';
I'm not familiar with how doctors appt work in US but thats not what happens here. You dont request anything before the appt.
I am afraid I won't be able to communicate my symptoms to my doctor.
Write a list
I want so many test made on me but I am afraid the doctor won't perform them on me, and that my mother wouldn't want me to take them either, because they will most likely call for more appointments and money.
They should at least take a general fasting test that tests for everything - deficiencies, white blood cell count, glucose.
I also want a UTI test.
Ask, I don't see any prob with that.
Should I ask my doctor why i haven't gone into some diabetic coma by now?
Only if you have ketones and high blood sugar.
In summary, you are paying for his/her time and can ask whatever you want of them. They are the trained experts, not you so dont feel silly asking questions. They are there to make sure you are healthy. Make sure you write everything done so you dont forget anything.Getting tested for diabetes this week. I have many questions and concerns. Help please.?
Make a list of any symptoms you have for the doctor.
You will get a finger stick and a blood draw and a urine check.
Fasting means nothing to eat 12 hours before the test.Nothing.
Ask the doctor for a HbA1c test and tell him/her you would like to be tested for a UTI- do you have symptoms of this too? Does it hurt to urinate ? Are you going often but have no urine ?
I wish you the best and hope you are well.
If you had severe type 1 you would be in hospital right now being trained in how to administer insulin injections!!! SO OK! YOU DO NOT HAVE SEVERE TYPE 1!!! get over it!
GTT is what they give pregnant ladies just so they can see them gag and heave then they can give them grief about their gag reflexes and make them do it again in a month!! that is only guaranteed to give everyone taking it a nasty headache and be bittttchy!
HbA1c is blood draw! It is usually done in a panel of other tests on blood so must fast for the other tests. It is only done by itself for quarterly checking of diagnosed diabetics. Other draw panels are done annually.
For diabetic testing they do several panels of blood draw work, urinalysis and physical exam! This is very expensive if we don't have insurance!
Get over the thought that you have TYPE 1 diabetes as most likely you do NOT! The symptoms are exactly the same for either one. And you are acting like a very very spoiled hypochondriac!
if anything, you have type 2. lose the sugar. get a glucose meter and check your blood sugar. test on the arm, it doesn't hurt. high blood sugar causes fatigue.
gee u are a long writer.....clear and simple..im not diabetic but i do know....
Fast the night before ...dont eat after 8pm....only water.........
Tell Doctor All your symptoms.....
The test is called A1C...Hemoglobin A1C to be exact....
Relax...it will be ok.
it won't be your only chance to get tested for diabetes and it takes a couple of tests at separate times to be sure
the finger prick tests show your current glucose level and that can vary a lot the A1C test will show what your average over the last 3 months was.
Don't panic the Doctor will be able to diagnose if your diabetic or not.
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