Can someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?

Okay, I have really crappy writing skills (I don't think I have any at all) but I have this story plot, and as we all know (mostly the writters) It is so damn hard to start a story! So my mim (yes, I call my mother Mim) told me just to write. Write anything that comes to mind for the story. So this is what I got... It will be confusing because you will have no idea where it is, what has happened, or the characters. I, myself don't even know where I'm going to place this in my book. All I'm going to tell you, is that it takes place in the mid 1800's, I am not make any sence what so ever, I just feel like typing, blah, blah, blah. Like I said, it is really, really crappy. I don't like how I worded it at all %26gt;.%26lt; It feels like I'm just explaining it, I have this voice in my head (no, I'm not schizo 'and i'm not either!') *hahaha* anyway, I hear this really camling voice telling me the story (that I'm writting) but yet, I can't really hear the words. If you know what I mean by that. That made no sence at all.....I have 5 pages written so far. Please tell me (in a kind manner, 'please and thank you' I shall add) what I need to fix...I'm only 13! Sorry if there is any miss spelled words. (not the best speller here)





“There you are.” Wake said in relief as he bent down to catch his breathe. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” He lit a candle and walked over to Victor putting his white skeleton hand on his shoulder. “Why are you crying?” he asked softly as he placed the candle on the table next to him. Victor drew up and looked around the room. “I’m…I’m not…crying,” he said quickly as he rubbed his eyes. “I just got something in my eye. That’s all.” “Hmm.” Wake walked over to the table of candles. Victor watched as he lit the candles one by one with his bare fingers. Something that he has always enjoyed watching Wake do with his magic. “Oh really.” He said with a smile, “Then something must have really gotten caught in your eye because I could hear you whale from all the way down stairs.” He pulled out a bottle down from the wine rack, and walked over to him. Victor quickly turned his head the other way to hide the tears and his red face as Wake pulled on his ear gently. “If you don’t tell me,” He whispered in a childish voice. “then it’s only going to get worse.” Victor sighed and stared at the candle that he had lit for him. The amber flames lit the room dimly, as if there was a sepia haze in a picture.


Wake sat down across from him and pored the bottle of blood in a wine glass. “Here.” He insisted, but Victor shook his head sadly and buried his face in his arms again. “What is bothering you? You never turn down a freshly warmed glass of blood. You seem very…ill and tired. Tell me.” Victor said nothing, only a moan hummed across his lips. Wake sighed and leaned back in his chair crossing his legs. He held one hand underneath his arm and swirled the blood around in the wine glass. “Fine, suit yourself.” He said taking a sip. “We are having a party down stairs and everybody is looking for you.”


“You’re just saying that!” Victor clenched his teeth. “Why would anybody care about me, I’m a…” his voice slowly died into a whisper. “Come now, at least I want you to have a good time. We have saved up to buy three goats.” He put his warm hand on Victor’s neck, he quickly jerked away. “Victor…you’re so cold. When was the last time you’ve eaten?” he put his hand on his check. Victor slapped it away. “Go away! I don’t want to be bothered! Just leave me alone to…” his eyes strained as he stared blankly into the candles flickering flame. Bags had formed under his eyes and his face looked paler then usual. “Come. Ivan brought us a hog, which I have no idea where in the world he got it.” He thought to himself. “The others are looking for you.”





It's really crappy %26gt;.%26lt; I know the wording is really off. Yes they are Vampires. The goat, I can explain, they are really poor and only drink from animals. I really just want to know for now where my writing skills are in your point of veiw. 'only for this, it's not much to tell anything though' (without having any lessons on writting, as you may or may not have seen)


Rate: (1-5) I give myself a 0.5 XDCan someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
I wouldn't give you a 0.5...lol. Probably a 2.5 or 3. It's good, but needs more description. You said that you are having a hard time figuring out how to start the story. The easiest way is to make a diagram of ten scenes that will carry your plot line to the end. After you have done this, you can fill in scenes that carry your subplots, if you have any, and/or scenes that develop your characters or setting. Don't be so hard on yourself because your writing skills can only get better.





If you are very serious about writing a story or novel, I purchased a book that has helped me a lot and may be able to help you too. It's called ';The Writer's little helper'; by James V. Smith Jr.








Hope I helped!





Please answer mine?


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?…Can someone read this and tell me if this is good or not?
not bad
I actually liked it. Dont be so down on yourself. Please :(